The Big Apple and the Big Cough: A Not-So-Funny Look at NYC's COVID Tally
Ah, New York City. City that never sleeps... except for maybe that whole spring of 2020 thing. Those were rough times, folks. Remember the toilet paper apocalypse? Pepperoni pizza shortages? Let's not forget the grim reaper doing the Macarena on a pile of takeout containers – that was COVID-19's unwelcome arrival party.
So, how many New Yorkers exactly got swept up in this viral waltz with death? Buckle up, because the answer depends on who you ask.
The Official Body Count: A Statistical Sigh
According to the New York City Department of Health, as of cue dramatic music April 24, 2024, there have been 83,374 confirmed COVID-related deaths. That's a number so big, you could write a sad novel with it. Now, that's the official story, but here's the thing: life finds a way (cue Jurassic Park music).
The Unofficial Tally: When Numbers Get Fuzzy
Early on in this whole mess, testing wasn't exactly what you'd call "widespread." Let's be honest, some folks probably kicked the bucket at home with a cough and fatigue, never knowing they were playing patty-cake with the coronavirus. Those deaths might not be reflected in the official numbers. Then there's the whole "died with vs. died from" debate. Did COVID-19 claim Uncle Morty, or was it just that bad pastrami on rye he scarfed down? The lines get blurry, folks.
The Bottom Line: A Sobering Thought (with a sprinkle of humor)
Look, here's the deal. The exact number of New Yorkers who shuffled off this mortal coil thanks to COVID-19 is a fuzzy math problem at best. The important takeaway is this: way too many people died. Let's remember them, wash our hands frequently (seriously, folks, some of you are slacking), and maybe avoid that sketchy street vendor selling mystery meat on a stick.
On a lighter note, at least we can all (hopefully) agree that 2024 is a vast improvement over the toilet paper panic of 2020. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a giant vat of hand sanitizer.
