So You Want to Sail the Circle Line: A Hilarious Look at NYC Cruise Prices
Ah, the Circle Line cruise in NYC. A rite of passage for tourists, a scenic escape for locals, and a guaranteed way to get a selfie with Lady Liberty (assuming good weather and a non-blocking fellow passenger). But before you set sail, there's one question that burns brighter than the reflection of the Chrysler Building on a sunny day: how much does this nautical adventure cost?
Fear not, intrepid explorer! We're here to navigate the murky waters of Circle Line cruise pricing with the humor of a dad joke and the accuracy of a (slightly) tipsy tour guide.
The "Totally Official" Circle Line Cruise Price Spectrum
There's no set price for a Circle Line cruise, because apparently, even the cruise gods like a little variety in their day. Here's a breakdown of the potential costs, based on our highly scientific research (read: pure speculation and a sprinkle of common sense):
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    The Early Bird Special (If You Catch the Worm): This mythical price is for those who arrive at Pier 83 with the enthusiasm of a sugar-crazed toddler. Price: $20 (but seriously, check the official Circle Line website for any early bird specials). 
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    The Standard Fare (Most Common): This is your bread-and-butter cruise price. Nothing fancy, but it gets the job done (and gets you that Instagram-worthy Statue of Liberty shot). Price: Around $30. 
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    The VIP with a Slice of Pizza (Don't Ask): We're not entirely sure what this entails, but it sounds vaguely luxurious (the pizza part is debatable). Price: A whopping $50 (you're paying for the mystery, folks). 
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    The "Forget-My-Wallet" Special (They MIGHT Let You Work it Off): For those who are as light on cash as they are heavy on charm. Price: Negotiable (be prepared to sing sea shanties for your supper...or passage). 
So, how much will your Circle Line cruise set you back? Only the cruise director knows for sure. But hey, that's part of the adventure, right? Just remember, with a little humor and maybe some bargaining skills, you're sure to smooth sailing on your Circle Line cruise.
P.S. Don't forget the sunscreen (and maybe some Dramamine for those prone to seasickness). Happy sailing!