So You Found Your Lobster (and Now Need Permission to Shack Up?) - How to Get a Marriage License in Los Angeles
Ah, Los Angeles, the land of sunshine, celebrities (sometimes you see them at the grocery store!), and...endless bureaucracy? Maybe not endless, but getting hitched in the City of Angels does involve a little legwork. Fear not, lovebirds, for this guide will be your roadmap to wedded bliss (or at least a fancy piece of paper that says you can be).
Step 1: Check You're Not Still Technically Hitched to Your High School Sweetheart (Unless It's a Rom-Com and That's the Plot)
This might seem obvious, but it's always good to double-check you're not a bigamist by accident. Unless, of course, you're planning a wild Hollywood-style elopement with multiple surprise vows (though a heads-up to your fiancé(e) might be appreciated). Being single is a requirement for a Los Angeles marriage license, folks.
Step 2: Prove You're Not Running Away With a Witness (Unless That Witness is Elvis, and That's Totally Cool)
Alright, so maybe they don't check for escaped convicts at the marriage license bureau, but you will need some valid ID. Driver's license, passport, secret agent badge (if you're really that interesting) - all fair game. Just make sure it proves you're over 18 and not an international jewel thief.
Bonus Fun Fact: If your documents are in another language, you'll need a certified English translation (just in case they suspect your marriage is an elaborate witness relocation scheme).
Step 3: Apply Online or Get Your Glam On (Because Seriously, This Might Be the Only Time You Get Officially Documented Looking Fabulous)
Here's the beauty (pun intended) of getting married in LA. You can apply for your license online or head down to the County Clerk's office and get it done in person. The online option is great for your pajamas-all-day kind of love, while the in-person route allows for some pre-wedding glam and that "getting ready together" montage for your future home movie.
Important Note: Whichever route you choose, both of you need to be there to finalize things. So, ditch the stand-in best friend idea (unless it's actually Chris Hemsworth, then maybe we can talk).
Step 4: Don't Forget the Benjamins (Franklins, not the Kardashians)
There is a fee for your marriage license, which is a small price to pay for the privilege of legally binding your life to another human being (and all the tax breaks that come with it). It's currently $90 for a public license or $85 for a confidential one (perfect if you're planning a super secret Ninja wedding).
Step 5: Congratulations! You're Licensed to Wed (But Maybe Not Drive a Tank)
With your shiny new marriage license in hand, you're ready to tie the knot! Just remember, this license isn't like a driver's permit - it doesn't qualify you to operate heavy machinery or defy the laws of physics. But hey, it is a pretty cool piece of paper that says the government recognizes your love. Now go forth and celebrate (responsibly)!
