So You Wanna Be a Sub? A Guide to wrangling Wranglers in the City of Angels
Ever looked at a teacher and thought, "Hey, I could do that!" (Let's be honest, sometimes they're napping at their desks). Well, my friend, substitute teaching might be your calling! Especially if your calling involves questionable life choices and the ability to herd cats... I mean, children.
This guide will equip you for surviving, and maybe even thriving, as a substitute teacher in the vibrant jungle that is Los Angeles.
First Things First: Gear Up, Buttercup!
The Essentials:
- Coffee (grande, iced, preferably cold brew): This is non-negotiable. You'll be facing sugar highs, existential teenage angst, and the occasional rogue hamster escape. Regular coffee is like a pool noodle against a tsunami.
- Comfortable shoes: Those elementary school hallways are like marathons, but with glitter and spilled juice boxes.
- A Smile (preferably attached to your face): A positive attitude goes a long way. Just remember, even sunshine can't melt every glacier (a.k.a. grumpy teenager).
- A Thick Skin: You will be stared at, questioned, and possibly serenaded with off-key renditions of pop songs. Breathe deeply, and remember, this too shall pass (hopefully before lunch).
Bonus Points for:
- A Laminator: Because apparently, everything needs to be laminated – hall passes, inspirational quotes, your sanity.
- A Whistle (optional, but effective): For those moments when you need to sound like a gym teacher, but without the whistle-blowing lung capacity.
- Superhero Costume (optional, highly recommended): Sometimes, all it takes is a cape and a cheesy grin to turn a bad day into an adventure!
The Art of the Sub: Classroom wrangling 101
Be the Master of Expectations: Don't expect a red carpet welcome or a perfectly behaved classroom. Every day is a surprise!
Embrace the Unknown: Lesson plans? More like suggestions! Be prepared to think on your feet and roll with the punches (or dodge the spitballs).
Channel Your Inner MacGyver: Need to turn an empty cereal box into a functioning microscope? You got this.
Remember the Magic Words: "Recess!" This phrase holds the power to calm even the most chaotic classroom.
Know When to Walk Away: If a situation is beyond your control, don't be afraid to seek help from the principal or other teachers. No shame in calling in the cavalry!
Survival Tips: A Sub's Guide to the LA Jungle
- The Lunch Line: It's a battleground. Respect the pecking order, and for the love of all things holy, don't cut in line.
- The Staff Room: This is your sanctuary. Find your fellow subs, swap stories, and share the secret stash of emergency chocolate.
- Parking: May the odds be ever in your favor. Embrace the early bird strategy, or be prepared to do some creative circling.
- School Events: You might get invited to bake sales and talent shows. Free food? Yes please! Awkward middle school musical numbers? Maybe a pass on that one.
Being a substitute teacher in LA is an adventure. It's challenging, hilarious, and sometimes downright bizarre. But hey, if you can navigate the freeways and find decent tacos, you can handle anything a classroom throws your way. So, good luck, substitute hero! Remember, you're not just there to warm a seat, you're making a difference, one wacky day at a time.
