Conquering the Subway: A Field Guide for the Indecisive eater (and the Hangry Hero)
Ah, Subway. The land of endless possibilities (and questionable smells wafting from the toaster). You walk in, stomach rumbling like a subway train itself, but then...paralysis. Staring at a menu that resembles a choose-your-own-adventure novel, you wonder: bread? Meat? Toasted? Toasted or not toasted? THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
Fear not, fellow overstimulated sandwich enthusiast! This guide will equip you with the knowledge (and hopefully a few chuckles) to navigate the treacherous, delicious terrain of Subway like a seasoned pro.
Step 1: Size Does Matter (But Not Always)
First things first, six-inch or footlong? This age-old question deserves a nuanced answer. Are you a bottomless pit disguised as a human? Footlong all the way. Is your hunger more of a polite inquiry? Six-inch should do the trick. Remember: You can always go back for seconds (or thirds, we won't judge).
Step 2: The Breadening: A Journey of Doughy Delights
Subway throws a whole bread basket at you, each option boasting impressive names like "Italian Herbs & Cheese" and "Honey Oat." Don't be intimidated! Here's a cheat sheet:
- Italian Herbs & Cheese: Classic with a hint of...well, herbs and cheese.
- Hearty Italian: A bit thicker and chewier, for those who like to gnaw on their lunch.
- Honey Oat: Sounds healthy-ish, perfect for when you'd like to pretend your sub isn't pure indulgence.
- Nine-Grain Wheat: The "good for you" option. May come with a side of smugness.
Step 3: Meaty Matters: From Carnivores to Veggie All-Stars
Now for the main event! Subway offers a protein parade, from the classic Italian BMT (built to meat you?) to veggie delights. Here are some highlights:
- Steak and Cheese: A melty, meaty masterpiece. Just be prepared for potential "cheese drippage" situations.
- Chicken Breast: Lean and mean, a blank canvas for your flavourful toppings.
- Black Forest Ham: Fancy-sounding ham that goes well with pretty much everything (except maybe jalapenos).
- Veggie Delite: A symphony of colourful veggies, proving that meat isn't everything.
Step 4: To Toast or Not to Toast?
A question that has divided sandwich philosophers for centuries. Here's the truth: toasting warms the bread and melts the cheese, but it can also make the veggies a little limp. The choice is yours, grasshopper.
Step 5: The Veggies That Make (or Break) Your Masterpiece
Now comes the fun part: accessorizing your sub! Pile on the crisp lettuce, tangy pickles, and those irresistible banana peppers (if you dare). Don't forget the cheese! Subway offers a variety, from the classic cheddar to the creamy mozzarella.
Step 6: The Sauce is Boss
Finally, the finishing touch: the sauce. Subway has a whole arsenal, from the sweet honey mustard to the fiery Sriracha. Go bold! Mix and match to create your own flavour symphony.
And There You Have It!
You've conquered the Subway. Pat yourself on the back (carefully, avoiding any rogue sauce splatters) and enjoy your creation. Remember, there are no wrong answers (except maybe skim milk with your sub. Just...don't).
