The Glorious Art of the Pitching DH: How to Confuse the Opposition (and Maybe Yourself) in MLB The Show 23
Ah, the Designated Hitter. A position of power, a haven for mashing machines, and... a pitcher? You heard that right, folks. In MLB The Show 23, we can unleash our inner Shohei Ohtani and turn the baseball world upside down with the "Dizzying Pitcher DH" strategy. It's audacious, it's unorthodox, and let's be honest, it might backfire spectacularly. But hey, where's the fun in playing it safe?
Step 1: Embracing the Absurd
First things first, you gotta ditch those notions of conventional baseball wisdom. We're not here to win "pretty." We're here to make jaws drop and leave commentators stuttering. Imagine the scene: the opposing team's ace struts to the mound, flames snorting from his nostrils. Then, out walks your starting pitcher, not with a glove and scowl, but with a bat the size of a telephone pole and a look that says, "Try and hit this curveball, chump!"
Pro Tip: If your pitcher looks genuinely confused about the whole ordeal, that's just part of the showmanship.
Step 2: The Shell Game (or Should We Say, "Sham Bat")
Now, let's be real. Most pitchers hit like they write with their elbows. But fear not, there are ways to mitigate the impending strikeout parade. Here's your playbook:
- The Platoon Paradox: Does your pitcher have a pulse and a shred of hitting prowess against a specific pitcher type? Exploit that! Facing a flamethrowing righty? Maybe your lefty hurler can manage a weak grounder. It's all about finding that statistical unicorn.
- The "Small Ball" Shuffle: Forget about launching moon shots. Focus on making contact, bunting (yes, bunting!), and maybe even stealing a base (if your pitcher's knees can handle it). The goal is to create chaos, not win a home run derby.
Important Note: There's a high chance your pitcher will look completely lost at the plate. Embrace the laughter, both yours and your opponent's. It's all part of the experience.
Step 3: Reaping the Rewards (or at Least the Memes)
So, did the Pitching DH strategy lead you to World Series glory? Probably not. But did it generate enough hilarious moments and confused tweets to fuel your internet bragging rights? Absolutely! You've become a legend, a pioneer, a cautionary tale – all rolled into one.
Remember: Baseball is a game, and sometimes, the most fun comes from throwing convention out the window. So, the next time you're feeling a bit mischievous, dust off your weakest-hitting pitcher, grab the biggest bat you can find, and get ready to DH-light the world on fire (or at least strike out in spectacular fashion).
