How to Evict Your Favorite (or Least Favorite) Relative: A Texas Two-Step (Without the Boots)
So, your dream of a tranquil home life is being disrupted by a snoring symphony coming from the guest room that's become a permanent residence? Maybe your adult child decided your house is a rent-free college dorm (complete with questionable pizza deliveries at 3 AM)? Fear not, fellow Texan! This guide will help you navigate the legalities of evicting a family member without resorting to drastic measures like booby-trapping the bathroom or blasting polka music 24/7 (although, those are tempting options).
First things first: The "Just Talk It Out" Disclaimer
Before we delve into legalese, a gentle plea. Evicting family can get messy. Is there a chance a heart-to-heart might work? Maybe they need a gentle nudge (or a not-so-gentle shove) to find their own place. But hey, if that's a non-starter, let's get down to eviction Texas style!
The Lease Lowdown: Signed, Sealed, Delivered (Out of Your House)
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Lease in Place? Eviction Tango: If there's a lease, things are (relatively) easy. Breach of lease is your best friend. Did they forget the "no pet alligator" clause? Eviction party! Non-payment of rent? Time to pack their bags (and maybe that alligator). Just follow the terms of the lease and eviction process outlined there.
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The Lease MIA? The Squatter Shuffle: No fancy lease? No problem! This means your family member is likely a month-to-month tenant. In this case, you'll need to provide a written notice to vacate. Thirty days for a regular month-to-month tenancy, or according to the terms you agreed upon (verbal agreements can be tricky in Texas, so get it in writing if possible!).
The Courtroom Cha-Cha: When Talking Fails
Didn't heed the "Just Talk It Out" disclaimer? No worries. If your relative decides eviction court is their new vacation spot, you'll need to file an eviction lawsuit. Lawyer Up! This is where a legal eagle can help you navigate the paperwork and court appearances.
The Move-Out Mambo: Here's Your Hat, Where's Your Door?
Once the court rules in your favor (hopefully with minimal Mariah Carey-level theatrics), it's time for the move-out. Texas law allows law enforcement to assist with eviction if necessary. But remember, even in Texas, eviction is a process. Be patient, and resist the urge to launch your relative's belongings into orbit (trust me, been there, done that, wouldn't recommend the space debris removal bill).
Bonus Round: The Post-Eviction Polka
Congratulations! Your home is (hopefully) yours again. Celebrate with a playlist that doesn't include polka music (unless that's your jam, then by all means, polka on!). Before welcoming new housemates, consider establishing clear boundaries and maybe even a written agreement (even for family!).
Remember, evicting family is a drag. If you can avoid it, that's always best. But if push comes to shove (or polka music), this guide should help you navigate the process with a little less Lone Star tear in your eye.
