You've Been Served: A Guide to Getting Tossed from MLB the Show 21 (Because Apparently Earning Runs is Boring)
Let's face it, folks, sometimes winning just feels...meh. You mash dingers left and right, your pitcher throws heat that'd make dragons jealous, and...yawn. Been there, done that. But what if I told you there was a way to spice things up, to truly own the moment (even if that moment involves a grumpy umpire pointing you towards the showers)? Welcome, my friends, to the thrilling (and slightly ridiculous) world of getting ejected in MLB the Show 21.
Step 1: Embrace the Inner Wild Thing
Gone are the days of arguing balls and strikes like a grumpy grandpa yelling at clouds. No, siree, in MLB the Show 21, ejections are all about becoming a symphony of bad pitching decisions. Brushback pitches are your new best friend. Think of them as spicy neck massages for the opposing batter, a not-so-subtle reminder that this ain't their batting cage. But be warned, a little goes a long way. You don't want to look like you're trying out for a bowling team, just aiming for a friendly "hey there" with a high-velocity heater.
Pro-Tip: Master the art of the "near miss." A pitch that whistles by the batter's ear is way more effective (and umpire-infuriating) than a beanball to the dome. We're all about controlled chaos here, people.
Step 2: Channel Your Inner Chatty Cathy (or Kathy?)
Now, throwing at batters is a surefire way to get the umpire's blood pressure rising, but what if you're feeling a little more verbally inclined? Fear not, my friends, for there's an art to the well-timed tirade. However, forget arguing calls. The days of mimicking Angel Hernandez's strike zone with your arms are over. Instead, focus on the finer points of the game. Is the grass a shade too green? The umpire's shoes untied? Let your voice be heard! Just remember, keep it respectful (emphasis on the "ful"). You want to be the sassy grandma at bingo, not a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Bonus points: If you can weave in a pop culture reference or dad joke, all the better. Imagine the umpire's confusion as you yell, "This strike zone is tighter than a Kardashian's grip on relevance!" Trust me, it'll be a memory they won't soon forget.
Step 3: Patience is a Virtue (Especially When You're Being Ejected)
Let's be honest, getting tossed from a game isn't exactly a walk in the park. There will be yelling. There will be finger pointing. But through it all, my friends, you must remain stoic. Remember, you're not a toddler throwing a tantrum, you're a force of nature. So flip your cap backwards with a flourish, slowly walk towards the dugout, and soak in the boos (or maybe confused silence) from the crowd. You, my friend, have achieved ejection greatness.
Congratulations! You've successfully turned a humdrum game into an experience everyone will be talking about (well, maybe for five minutes). Now go forth and get yourself ejected, responsibly of course. But remember, while ejections are fun and all, sometimes winning the old fashioned way is pretty darn satisfying too. Just sayin'.
