So You're Stuck in the Boston Subway... Not Exactly a Tourist Destination (But Hey, At Least There's No Wi-Fi to Tempt You!)
Let's face it, folks, the Boston T these days ain't exactly the Freedom Trail. Flooded tunnels, Clickers with a serious case of the Mondays, and enough spores to make you wheeze like a winded tuba player – it's a real vacation getaway. But fear not, fellow survivors! This handy guide will transform you from a subway surfer to a veritable subway Houdini.
Step 1: Embrace the Lovely Locals (Emphasis on "Lovely")
First things first, you've likely encountered some of Boston's special residents – the Infected. Look, these folks aren't exactly known for their stellar table manners. A Clicker's greeting involves more gnashing and drooling than a particularly enthusiastic puppy. Runners? Well, they're the sprinters of the Infected world, so don't even think about an Olympic tryout. Here's the key:
- Be Stealthy: Think ninja, not marching band. If a Clicker can't hear you coming, it can't chomp on your face. Craft some shivs, use those handy bricks lying around, just shush it up!
- If All Else Fails... Molotov Party!: Fire is a great conversation starter, especially with these guys. Just be sure you have enough distance (and aim!), because a flaming Clicker is a particularly unpleasant party guest.
Step 2: Subterranean Swimming - Not for the Faint of Heart (Especially if You Can't Swim)
There's a good chance your escape route involves a refreshing dip in the subway's not-so-inviting wading pool. Here are some aquatic survival tips:
- Befriend the Flotsam: Look for planks, pallets, basically anything that floats. Use it as a makeshift raft, or channel your inner Michael Phelps and push it across.
- Ellie's Your Buoy: If you're lucky enough to have a travel companion like Ellie (seriously, where can I find one of those?), work together. She might be a little light on the swimming experience, so lend a hand (or a raft!).
Step 3: The Grand Escape - It's Not Just About the Destination, It's About the Loot!
Finally, the glorious exit! But hold on there, buckaroo. This ain't your average turnstile. There might be a locked door, a missing ladder, or a combination lock with a note that says "Ask nicely." Here's the lowdown:
- Eagle Eyes: Those dusty corners and abandoned shops might hold the key (literally) to your escape. Keep an eye out for safes, hidden compartments, or helpful notes from previous survivors (bless their post-apocalyptic souls).
- Improvise, Adapt, Overcome: Think outside the box (or the subway tunnel, in this case). Can you boost someone up to reach a ladder? Is there another way out that doesn't involve Clickers and chest-deep water? Get creative, my friend!
Congratulations! You've escaped the Boston subway – a feat worthy of a medal (assuming there are any medals left that aren't melted or used for shiv-making). Remember, stay frosty, and for goodness sake, avoid the green glowing spores. Happy adventuring!
