How to League of Legends: A Beginner's Guide to Not Being Completely Terrible (Probably)
So, you've been dragged kicking and screaming into the wonderful world of League of Legends by your friends (or maybe you saw a flashy Yasuo montage and thought "hey, I can do that!" Spoiler alert: you probably can't). Fear not, brave newbie, for this guide will be your shimmering beacon in the foggy land of MOBA mystery.
Step 1: Downloading and Not Downloading Your Life Away
First things first, hit up the League of Legends website: League of Legends and download the game. Be warned, this might take longer than your attention span can handle. Fear not, there's plenty of lore to delve into while you wait (bonus points if you can explain the plot of any given champion's story).
Step 2: Champions: Not All Glittery Anime Boys Are Created Equal
There's a whole lotta champions, each with their own unique playstyle and backstory that would make Tolkien do a spit-take. Don't worry about picking the "perfect" one at first. Just try a bunch out and see who clicks (though if you accidentally pick a champion with a million buttons, buckle up for button mashing mayhem). Here's a crash course on some champion archetypes:
- The Big Beefy Bois: These guys are your in-your-face tanks, soaking up damage like a sponge (hopefully not a sad, leaky sponge). Think: giant robots, literal mountains, and angry space hamsters (yes, you read that right).
- The Pew-Pew Mages: These champions like to keep their distance and raining magical mayhem down on their foes. Think giant space cats, floating eyeball things, and sassy sorcerers who can probably out-quip your grandma.
- The Stabby Stabby Folks: Assassins love to jump in, one-shot someone, and then disappear like a ninja on a sugar rush. Think edgy anime swordsmen, people with demon pets, and champions who are literally just weapons.
Step 3: The Map: Not Just a Pretty Piece of Real Estate (But Seriously, It's Pretty)
The battleground! There are three lanes (top, mid, and bottom) where minions (glorified cannon fodder) clash. Your goal? Push those minions towards the enemy base and smash their shiny crystal thing (that's the Nexus, by the way). Don't forget about the jungle, a creepy monster-infested area where a special champion called the jungler goes to get strong (and probably steal your kills).
Step 4: Farming Minions: Not as Exciting as Stealing Kills, But Way More Important (Probably)
Those little minions? They're your golden ticket (literally, they give you gold). Last hitting them (getting the final blow) is key to getting strong and buying fancy items to make your champion a powerhouse (or at least a slightly less weak powerhouse). Remember: Killing enemy champions is fun, but farming minions is how you win games (most of the time).
Step 5: Lasting Hits: A Clicker Hero's Dream or a Clicking Nightmare?
Last hitting can be tricky. It's all about timing and knowing your champion's damage. Don't worry, practice makes perfect (and by perfect, we mean mildly less terrible). If all else fails, just pretend you're playing a very intense clicker game.
Step 6: Don't Die: A Shockingly Simple Yet Surprisingly Difficult Concept
This might seem obvious, but staying alive is pretty darn important. Learn the limits of your champion and don't go diving headfirst into a teamfight like a moth to a flame (unless you're playing a champion specifically designed to do that, then by all means, be the moth).
Step 7: PINGING: It's Not Just for Table Tennis Anymore
That little map thingy in the corner? It's not just for decoration! You can use pings to communicate with your team (since apparently typing is for nerds). Use pings to warn about danger, signal objectives, and maybe even tilt your teammates if you're feeling spicy (not recommended).
Step 8: Objectives: There's More to Life Than Just Kills
Sure, getting kills is fun, but there's a bigger picture. Taking down turrets, slaying epic monsters, and securing objectives like Rift Herald and Baron Nashor are how you win games. Just don't be that teammate who ignores everything and chases kills like a squirrel with ADHD.
Step 9: Chat: A Double-Edged Sword (Mostly Edged)
Chat can be a great tool for coordinating with your team,
