Conquering Katz's Deli: A Guide for the Sandwich-Obsessed Tourist (and the Faint of Heart)
Katz's Deli: a New York institution, a monument to meat, and a place where tourists get schooled on the finer points of ordering a pastrami on rye. Fear not, out-of-towners! This guide will have you navigating the counter like a seasoned slicer in no time.
Step 1: Embrace the Chaos
Katz's is all about the experience. It's loud, it's crowded, and there's a distinct possibility a rye crumb will land in your hair. But that's part of the charm! Just channel your inner New Yorker and exude confidence (even if you're sweating bullets).
Step 2: Ticket to Ride (the Pastrami Train)
As you enter, a gruff gentleman will bestow upon you a sacred ticket. This is your lifeline, your key to sandwich nirvana. Do not lose it. We wouldn't want a pastrami-less purgatory on your conscience, would we?
Step 3: The Counter of Champions (or Carnivores)
Now comes the main event. A sea of faces behind the counter, each a master of their meaty domain. Don't be intimidated by the rapid-fire Yiddish and the rhythmic slapping of knives. Just remember, these guys are artists, and their canvas is your soon-to-be-legendary sandwich.
Pro-Tip: The first counter is usually the busiest. Look for a shorter line further down – the pastrami gods will reward your patience.
Step 4: Dissecting the Dialogue (Don't Panic!)
Here's a cheat sheet for deciphering the counter lingo:
- "What can I get for ya?" – This is your cue to unleash your order. Be clear, be concise. Pastrami on rye? Shout it loud and proud!
- "Onions?" – Up to you, champ. Oniony breath is a small price to pay for pastrami perfection.
- "Let me see some fat on that." – The magic words for juicy, melt-in-your-mouth meat. You're welcome.
Step 5: The All-Important Sample (Consider it a Pre-Feast)
While your sandwich is being assembled, you might be surprised by a free offering – a sliver of pastrami heaven. Devour it with gusto. It's a sign of good things to come.
Step 6: The Handoff (and the Hand Pay)
Once your masterpiece is complete, hand over your ticket and be prepared to settle up. Cash is always appreciated, and a little gratuity goes a long way (especially if you plan on returning for another mountain of meat).
Step 7: The Final Frontier (Finding a Seat)
Now comes the Hunger Games – the hunt for a seat. Keep your eyes peeled, and be prepared to employ some polite maneuvering. But hey, that's half the fun, right?
Step 8: Devour and Conquer
Finally, the moment you've been waiting for. Take a bite. Savor the explosion of flavors. Thank the pastrami gods. You've done it! You've conquered Katz's Deli.
Bonus Round: Sides and Drinks
Don't forget to explore the sides – potato salad, pickles, knishes – they're all deli classics for a reason. And a Dr. Brown's Cream Soda is the perfect way to wash it all down.
Katz's Deli: Not for the Faint of Heart, But Always Worth the Fight
So there you have it, folks. With this guide and a dash of courage, you'll be a Katz's pro in no time. Remember, it's an adventure, not a chore. Embrace the chaos, conquer the counter, and prepare to be amazed by the best damn pastrami sandwich on the planet.
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