Conquering the Costco Food Court: A Guide to Taming the $9.95 Beast
Ah, the Costco food court. A mythical land of $1.50 hot dogs and monstrously large slices of pizza. But how do you, brave adventurer, procure a slice (or ten) of this legendary pie? Fear not, for I, your trusty (and slightly hungry) guide, will walk you through the treacherous terrain of Costco pizza ordering.
Step 1: The Great Wall of Membership
Before you even consider the pizza, there's a hurdle to leap: the membership. Yes, a Costco membership is your golden ticket to pizza paradise. But fear not, the annual fee is often recouped in savings on toilet paper and questionable life-sized plush toys alone (seriously, that six-foot-tall unicorn is calling your name).
Step 2: Approaching the Beast
The Costco food court can be a bewildering place, a whirlwind of chicken bakes and churros. But set your sights on the pizza station, a land of bubbling cheese and glorious aromas. There are two main ways to order your pizza:
- The Ancient Art of In-Person Ordering: This method involves approaching the counter and speaking directly to the pizza gods (or at least the friendly Costco employees). Be prepared to make a decision – pepperoni? Combo? Do you dare venture into the realm of half-and-half?
- The Phone-a-Friend (or Pizza) Tactic: Costco offers the option of calling ahead to order your pizza. This is a great strategy if you're short on time or have a serious case of "hanger" (extreme hunger, for the uninitiated). Find the phone number for your local Costco food court (it's usually listed on the warehouse website) and place your order like a boss.
Step 3: The Waiting Game
Once you've secured your pizza, it's time to patiently wait (key word: patiently) for your number to be called. This could take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes, depending on the hangry hordes descending upon the food court. Use this time wisely. People-watch, marvel at the sheer size of that rotisserie chicken, or hypothesize how many slices you can realistically consume in one sitting. (Spoiler alert: the answer is probably more than you think).
Step 4: Victory Lap (with Pizza)
Your number is called! You've conquered the Costco pizza maze and are now the proud owner of a giant, delicious pizza. High five yourself (carefully, avoiding pizza grease splatters) and prepare to be hailed a hero by your fellow pizza-deprived companions.
Bonus Tip: Don't forget, Costco only accepts credit cards and debit cards (no cash or Mastercard here). So come prepared to swipe that plastic and enjoy your glorious $9.95 pizza victory!
