Conquering the Subway: A Field Guide for the Clueless (and Slightly Hangry)
So you find yourself at Subway, that land of fluorescent lights and questionable smells (though mostly good smells, let's be honest). You're starving, your stomach is grumbling a concerto only a sandwich can tame, but you're hit with a sudden wave of panic. How exactly does this whole Subway ordering situation work? Fear not, weary traveler! This guide will have you navigating the sub terrain like a seasoned pro in no time.
Step 1: Size Does Matter...Maybe
First things first, six-inch or footlong? This is a crucial decision, my friend. Consider this: are you a bottomless pit disguised as a human? Then go footlong. Are you aiming for a more reasonable portion that won't leave you in a food coma later? Six-inch it is. Remember, there's no shame in a six-inch, and there's always the option of cookies...we'll get to that later.
Step 2: The Breadening
Now, the fun part: bread selection! Do you crave the classic Italian, the hearty wheat, or maybe the exotic (okay, maybe not that exotic) honey oat? This is where you unleash your inner bread connoisseur. Feel free to ask for a sample or two – knowledge is power, especially when it comes to carbs.
Step 3: The Meaty Situation (or Not-So-Meaty)
Here's where things get interesting. Pick your protein, or don't! Subway caters to all appetites, from the carnivores who crave rotisserie-style chicken or double pepperoni to the vegetarians who rock the veggie delights or the adventurous souls who build their own masterpiece with cheese as the main attraction (hey, no judgement here).
Pro Tip: If you're feeling fancy, ask for the Subway carved turkey. It's a game-changer, trust me.
Step 4: Veggies Galore!
Now comes the best part (besides the eventual eating, of course): loading on the veggies! Go crazy! Pile on the shredded lettuce, crisp cucumbers, juicy tomatoes – the possibilities are endless (well, almost). Do you like things spicy? Jalapeños are your friend. Feeling fancy? Go for the black olives.
Remember: you can always ask for more (or less) of anything! Don't be shy, these sandwich artists are there to fulfill your wildest sub dreams.
Step 5: The Saucy Finale
We're almost there! Now it's time to dress your masterpiece. Do you crave the classic tang of mayo? The creamy goodness of ranch? Or maybe you're a spice aficionado who goes for the chipotle southwest? There's a sauce for everyone (or you can skip it altogether, the rebel).
Step 6: To Toast or Not to Toast?
This is the Shakespearean question of the Subway experience. Do you want your masterpiece toasted? A toasted sub offers a warm, melty embrace for your taste buds. But a cold sub maintains the freshness of the ingredients. The choice is yours, grasshopper.
Step 7: The Final Frontier (Okay, Maybe Not That Dramatic)
You've made it! Your sub is a thing of beauty, a symphony of flavors waiting to be devoured. But wait, there's more! Chips? Drinks? Those oh-so-tempting cookies? This is where your willpower is truly tested.
Congratulations, you've successfully navigated the treacherous waters of Subway ordering. Now go forth and conquer that delicious sub!
