So you wanna be a super soldier? How to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Early (and possibly avoid your family)
Let's face it, waiting for a game release is like watching paint dry... except the paint is also judging you for your lack of a tactical assault life. But fear not, soldier! There are ways to get your boot in the digital door of Modern Warfare 2 a little sooner. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility (and possibly disappointment from your significant other).
Method 1: Embrace your inner Kiwi (with caution)
This tactic works best for our Xbox brethren. New Zealand, bless their sheep-loving hearts, are always a hop, skip, and a time zone ahead. By switching your Xbox location to New Zealand, you can trick the system into thinking you're a rugged outdoorsman who just happens to be amazing at virtual warfare (because, let's be honest, that's way cooler than reality). Here's the catch: you gotta be committed.
- Step 1: Operation Lonely Planet. Dive into the glorious world of New Zealand geography. Learn about their flightless birds (important for conversations with potential Kiwi teammates, or at least pub trivia).
- Step 2: The Great Language Leap. Brush up on your "Kia Ora" (hello) and "Chur" (thanks). Bonus points for impersonations of their hilarious sheep.
- Step 3: The Flip Flop Fiasco (Optional). While not mandatory, planting a fake palm tree outside your house and sporting some flip flops really sells the whole "undercover New Zealander" vibe. Just don't blame me if your neighbors call the authorities.
Method 2: The Eyes Wide Shut Maneuver (for PlayStation)
This method requires a bit more finesse, like sneaking past a guard dog with a laser pointer. You'll need to create a whole new PlayStation account with a New Zealand address. Just be prepared to explain to Sony why you suddenly have a craving for pavlova. This method also comes with the risk of forgetting which account you're logged into, leading to hilarious (or disastrous) online interactions. Imagine trying to explain your love for sheep to your actual squad while logged into your "Kiwi Keith" account.
Method 3: Patience is a Virtue (but who wants to be virtuous?)
This strategy involves waiting like a normal person. Gasp! I know, right? But hey, it doesn't involve fake accents or international espionage. Plus, you can use the waiting time to finally conquer that mountain of laundry or write that novel you've been putting off (because, let's be honest, you won't be doing that once Modern Warfare 2 drops).
The Final Verdict
Look, soldier, the choice is yours. Do you want to be the first one bragging about your K/D ratio, or do you value your sanity and social standing? Whichever method you choose, just remember to shower eventually and maybe call your mom. Now go forth and conquer the digital battlefield (or at least your overflowing inbox).
