Diretide Dota 2 2022: A Hilariously Helpful Guide for Newbs (and Maybe Some Seasoned Veterans Who Need a Refresher)
Let's face it, folks, regular Dota 2 can be a bit intense. You've got your lane rage, your item envy, and enough acronyms to make your head spin like a techies remote (too soon?). But Diretide? This is Dota's sugar-crazed little cousin, a whirlwind of candy, Roshan-powered destruction, and enough greevils to make your nightmares adorable.
So, grab your sweetest BM spam (because let's be honest, you're gonna need it), dust off your most fabulous mount (because fashion matters, even in the Diretide apocalypse), and get ready for a crash course in delightful domination.
Step 1: Assembling Your Candy-Coated Crew
Just like regular Dota, you'll be brawling in teams of five. But here's the twist: Diretide is all about teamwork (and maybe a little friendly betrayal). You want heroes with some crowd control to keep those pesky candy thieves at bay. Think heroes like Lina, Leshrac, or hey, even Disruptor if you're feeling fancy. Having a beefy initiator like Slardar or Centurion isn't a bad idea either – gotta get that candy to the wells somehow, right?
Pro-tip: Don't be that guy who picks Pudge and just hangs around hoping for easy hooks. This ain't Candy Land, it's a full-on sugar rush smackdown!
Step 2: The Glorious Gummy Grind
The name of the game is candy, my friend. Lots and lots of candy. Scattered around the map are little greevil runts (adorable, yet strangely terrifying) who are just itching to lose their sugary loot. Bash them, bop them, DO NOT hug them (they're sticky!), and claim that sweet, sweet candy.
Here's the catch: Your team has wells. Big, beautiful wells that crave candy like a sugar-fiend teenager. Your job? Stuff those wells with candy until Roshan, the giant, grumpy candy connoisseur, gets all fighty and smashes the enemy wells to smithereens.
Step 3: Roshan the Relentless (Candy Craving) Rampage
Remember Roshan, the big bad of the regular Dota world? Well, in Diretide, he's on your team. Think of him as a grumpy grandpa with a serious sweet tooth. The more candy you feed your well, the more amped Roshan gets. And when he's amped, well, let's just say the enemy team's wells are about to get a face full of Roshan-shaped fury.
Important Note: Don't be a greedy guts. Share the candy love with your team's wells. A well with more candy than the others gets a bigger Roshan bonus, but that doesn't mean you should hoard all the Skittles for yourself. Remember, there's strength in numbers (and a well-fed Roshan).
Step 4: Triumphant Taffy Triumphs (and Salty Sourdough Sorrows)
The team that demolishes all the enemy wells first wins! It's a glorious victory, a sugary symphony of success. But for the losers? Well, let's just say there's a reason they call it Diretide. Prepare for a healthy dose of BM and enough salt to fill a pretzel factory.
Bonus Round: Because Why Not?
- Don't forget the side hustle! You can also earn Diretide points just by playing. These points unlock a treasure trove of sweet loot, so keep on brawling and keep on winning (or at least trying to win).
- Mount Up! Diretide comes with a variety of snazzy mounts to ride into battle on. Who needs boring horses when you can have a majestic candy sheep or a lumbering taffy troll?
So there you have it, folks! A not-so-serious guide to surviving (and hopefully thriving) in the sugary chaos of Diretide. Now get out there, grab some candy, and unleash your inner candy-crazed champion!
