How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast): Quotes to Live By (or Maybe Not)
Ah, How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast). The German dark comedy that had us binging and yelling at the screen in equal measure. Who knew a story about a teenage boy turning drug kingpin to impress his crush could be so hilarious and thought-provoking?
Well, buckle up, internet fam, because we're diving into the wild world of quotes from this show. Remember, these are for entertainment purposes only, not a "get rich quick" scheme (seriously, don't sell drugs).
Shady Business Advice (Not Recommended for Work Presentations)
- "Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end." - Moritz - Profound? Maybe. A helpful business motto? Probably not.
- "Trust is good, control is better." - Dan - Sure, if you're running a criminal enterprise. For friendships? Less so.
- "Sometimes you gotta risk it for the biscuit." - Lenny - Lenny may be a genius hacker, but his snack metaphors leave something to be desired.
Pro Tip: These quotes might not land you a promotion, but they're guaranteed to get a laugh (or a raised eyebrow) from your coworkers.
Teenage Angst: When Your Drug Empire Clashes with High School Drama
- "When you wait your whole life to finally become an adult and then you realize you just miss being a kid... that's the worst." - Moritz - We've all been there, Moritz. Except, you know, without the whole "international drug dealing" thing.
- "Lisa, you are the darknet of my soul." - Moritz - Smooth, Moritz? Not exactly. But hey, at least he's honest about his (slightly creepy) feelings.
- "Being a teenager is like having diarrhea. You just gotta let it all out." - Lenny - Lenny may not be the most eloquent dude, but there's a certain chaotic wisdom to his words.
Side Note: Teenagers, please don't take Lenny's advice literally.
Words of Wisdom (Maybe) From the Most Unexpected Places
- "Never underestimate the power of a good website design." - Monika, Moritz's Mom - Turns out, even moms can dispense valuable business advice (when they're not freaking out about their son's online drug empire).
- "The customer is king." - Walter, undercover cop posing as a gangster - Wait, did a cop just quote a business cliché? This show truly has it all.
Moral of the Story? Everyone has something to teach us, even if they're completely out of their depth.
So there you have it, folks. A glimpse into the dark (and surprisingly funny) heart of How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast). Remember, these quotes are best enjoyed on the couch, with a bag of popcorn, not while contemplating a life of crime.
