How to Totally Ditch Defense in NFL Pro Era (Because Offense is Way More Fun Anyway)
Let's face it, folks, playing defense in NFL Pro Era is like watching paint dry... except with the constant threat of getting sacked by a linebacker the size of a small Buick. Who needs that kind of negativity in their VR experience? You came here to sling touchdowns like Peyton Manning, not play human bowling pin for Khalil Mack.
That's why I'm here, my fellow armchair athletes, to show you the finer points of The Art of the Permanent Offensive Huddle (patent pending). With this revolutionary strategy, you can spend the entire game strategizing that Hail Mary pass and forget about those pesky defensive plays.
Step 1: Channel Your Inner Belichick (But with Less Hoodie)
The first step is all about mindset. You gotta convince yourself (and maybe the AI coach, bless its virtual heart) that defense is a myth, a conspiracy by Big Tackle to sell more pads. Just keep repeating this mantra: "Offense wins games, defense wins championships... but championships are boring and who needs all those trophies taking up space anyway?"
Pro Tip: If the coach throws a virtual tantrum, hit him with the ol' "eye test." Tell him your completion percentage looks fantastic from here.
Step 2: The Art of the Strategic Sim
Now, you can't just blatantly ignore the other team. We wouldn't want to get banned for unsportsmanlike conduct (although, that might be a quicker exit strategy...). This is where the strategic sim comes in. Let the AI handle the defensive side of things while you, the brilliant offensive mind, plot your next touchdown. Just remember, if your defense gives up a touchdown while you're busy strategizing, that's clearly a glitch in the matrix, not your fault.
Word to the Wise: Don't peek at the defense too often. Ignorance is bliss, especially when it comes to third-and-long situations.
Step 3: The Never-Ending Offensive Huddle
Here's the magic trick: once you've "simmed" the defense, call another audible. This resets the play clock and keeps you safely tucked away in the warm embrace of the offensive huddle. Rinse and repeat, my friends. You've essentially created a permanent offensive time machine, hurtling towards victory one touchdown at a time.
Disclaimer: This strategy may not be endorsed by actual NFL coaches (shocking, I know). There's also a chance you might get bored after the 12th consecutive offensive play. But hey, at least you won't have to worry about bruised virtual ribs!
Now, go forth and conquer the virtual gridiron, offense-first! Remember, sometimes the best defense is a good... well, a really, really long offense.
