So You Wanna Take Your Horse (Masquerading as a Dog) on the Subway? A Guide for the Audacious
Let's face it, your chihuahua wouldn't even register on a crowded subway platform. But Bernard, your gentle giant of a Great Dane? He makes a statement. And that statement might be, "Hey everyone, check out this majestic floof who barely fits through the turnstile!" Fear not, fellow adventurer, for with a little planning and a hefty dose of chutzpah, you and your oversized shadow can conquer the subway.
Prepping Your Canine Colossus
-
Desensitization is Your BFF: Subways are a cacophony of screeching brakes, chattering humans, and the occasional rogue musician with questionable taste. Get your pup accustomed to these urban delights. Play recordings of subway sounds at home, take him for walks near busy streets, and maybe even bribe a friend to wear a backpack full of squeaky toys and wander past your house.
-
Practice Makes Perfect (and Less Embarrassing): Let's face it, a clumsy Great Dane on a crowded train is a recipe for hilarity (mostly for everyone else). Practice navigating tight spaces with Bernard at your side. Master the art of the "Excuse me, coming through with the world's biggest cuddle monster!" maneuver.
-
The Great Crate Escape (Not Really): Check your local subway regulations. Most systems require dogs to be secured in carriers. Here's the fun part: finding a carrier that doesn't resemble a clown car for your oversized friend. Think outside the box (pun intended). Maybe a collapsible playpen or a creative harness system could work? Just remember, safety first, and make sure your pup has enough room to breathe and turn around.
Subway Survival: A Field Guide
-
Timing is Key: Rush hour? Unless you enjoy recreating a scene from "sardines," avoid it. Opt for off-peak hours when there's more space and fewer grumpy commuters.
-
Choose Your Battles: Let's be honest, Bernard isn't exactly built for agility. Avoid crowded platforms and elevators. Look for less busy cars and strategically position yourself near the doors for a quick exit.
-
Snacks are Your Secret Weapon: A well-timed treat can work wonders. Keep Bernard occupied (and quiet!) with his favorite chew toys or long-lasting treats. Just remember to clean up any crumbs – nobody wants a rogue kibble in their shoe.
-
Be a Good Doggy Citizen (and Human): Clean up after any accidents (because seriously, who wants to step in Great Dane sized… well, you get the idea). Keep Bernard leashed and maintain control at all times. A happy, calm pup is a subway-friendly pup.
-
Prepare for the Spotlight: Because let's face it, Bernard will turn heads. Be prepared for questions, compliments (and maybe a few side-eye glances). Embrace your inner dog showman and dispense belly rubs with aplomb.
Remember: Taking your big dog on the subway is an adventure. There will be bumps, there will be stares, and there will probably be a story or two for the grandkids. But with a little planning and a whole lot of love for your oversized furry friend, you can conquer the concrete jungle, one rumbling train ride at a time.
