Howdy, Partner! Let's Lasso the Lowdown on Texas Law in 2023!
The Lone Star State's legislators done wrangled up a whole mess of new laws in 2023, enough to make your ten-gallon hat spin. Now, some of these bills are drier than a West Texas tumbleweed, but fear not, pilgrim! We'll sift through the legalese and serve it up with a side of sarcasm, Texas-style.
School Daze and Safety Mazes
First on the docket: school safety. Now, Texas already loves their guns, and this year they doubled down on keeping schools safe. How, you ask? More guns, of course! But wait, there's more! We're talking armed guards, chaplains (for some divine intervention, maybe?), and a hefty dose of mental health training. So, while little Billy might be dodging bullets in math class, at least he can pray they don't hit and maybe chat with a friendly counselor about the whole ordeal.
Don't forget the vouchers! Seems parents can now choose where their little buckaroos get schooled, with the government helpin' out with the bill. Now, where's that ad for " Billy Bob's School of Shootin' and Readin' "?
Power Plays and Rainy Day Fun
Remember that whole winter storm fiasco that left Texans shiverin' like a chihuahua in a blizzard? Well, lawmakers ain't forgettin' that too soon. They passed a bill to, you guessed it, shore up the dang electricity grid. Hopefully, next time the wind blows a little too hard, folks won't be left scramblin' for candles and flannel.
Speaking of winter storms, gotta be prepared for the good times too, right? Lawmakers set aside a chunk of change for a rainy day fund. Now, this ain't your piggy bank filled with nickels. We're talkin' billions, ready to be unleashed when them rainy days (or hurricanes, or droughts...) come knockin'.
Tax Cuts and Other Fun Facts (well, maybe not that fun)
Ah, taxes. The bane of every cowboy's existence. Well, saddle up, partners, because there's some good news! Texas doled out a hefty property tax cut, which means you might just have enough left over to buy yourself a new Stetson.
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion? We Don't Need No Stinkin' DEI! Yep, you read that right. Public universities got the boot for their fancy DEI programs. Seems some folks think those ideas are a little too progressive for the Lone Star State.
Bonus Fun Fact: Voting just got a little trickier. There's a new law makin' sure only the right folks are castin' their ballots. No word on whether a good ol' fashioned lasso demonstration will be required at the polls.
So there you have it, folks! A whirlwind tour of Texas law in 2023. Remember, this ain't all there is, but it's a good chunk of the howdy-doody. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go practice my two-step and contemplate the existential implications of school choice in the Wild West.
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