So You Wanna Be a Criminal Mastermind (in California, at Least)? Not So Fast!
Ah, California, the land of sunshine, beaches, and... apparently, some never-ending criminal opportunities? Well, hold on to your sombreros, aspiring lawbreakers, because things aren't quite as Bonnie and Clyde as you might think. While California has its fair share of sunshine and beaches, the Golden State also throws down the hammer when it comes to crime, especially certain especially heinous ones.
There's this nifty little legal concept called a statute of limitations. It's basically a deadline for prosecutors to slap you with charges. But guess what? Some crimes are so egregious, so downright awful, that California throws that deadline out the window. That's right, these crimes are like the unwanted house guest who never leaves – they'll haunt you forever (or at least until you get caught).
The Crimes That Never Die (Legally Speaking)
So, which criminal endeavors will earn you a permanent place on California's "Most Wanted" list, even if you try to bury the evidence under a lifetime of good deeds? Let's take a peek:
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Murder, She Wrote (and Wrote, and Wrote...): This one's a no-brainer. Bump someone off, and California will be sharpening its prosecution pencils for all eternity. No amount of fake mustaches or hiding in witness protection programs will save you from this one.
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The Public Enemy: Did you, by any chance, decide to embezzle a whole bunch of public money? Yeah, that's a one-way ticket to never-ending prosecution land. California takes a dim view of folks who steal from the public purse, and they'll be waiting for you with open handcuffs...no matter how many yachts you buy in the meantime.
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The Godfather Clause: Treason? Treason is never a good idea, folks. Especially not in California. Overthrow the government and expect to be a wanted man (or woman) for the rest of your days.
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The Taken Treatment: Kidnapping is bad. Like, REALLY bad. And California isn't playing favorites here. Aggravated kidnapping? That's a crime with absolutely no time limit for prosecution.
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Crimes Against the Innocent: There's a special place on this list for certain crimes against vulnerable people. This includes forcible rape, spousal rape involving force or violence, and aggravated sexual assault of a child (until the victim turns 40). These are horrific acts, and California says you can't outrun justice on this one.
Important Disclaimer: This is not legal advice! If you're considering committing any of these crimes (or any crimes, really), do yourself a favor and don't. There are far better ways to spend your time (like reading awesome blog posts, for instance).
So there you have it, folks. California may be the land of endless sunshine, but some shadows lurk forever for those who commit certain crimes. Remember, even if you think you've gotten away with it, California's legal system has a long memory. And that memory ain't got no statute of limitations.
