So You Wanna Be Fancy in California, Huh? A Guide to the Upper Middle Class
Ah, California. Land of sunshine, avocados that never seem to go bad (suspicious...), and a housing market that would make a dragon hoard gold nervously. But beneath the palm trees and celebrity sightings, there's a whole social ecosystem, and at the top of the food chain (or maybe the avocado chain?), we have the elusive upper middle class.
Fear not, aspiring fancy pants! This handy-dandy guide will decode the secrets of upper middle class living in the Golden State.
Income: It's Not All Sunshine and Rainbows (Unless You Live in Malibu)
Let's get the obvious out of the way: California's upper middle class isn't playing house with Monopoly money. We're talking some serious Benjamins Franklins chilling in your wallet. Here's the skinny:
- Think "double what your parents made": In many California areas, upper middle class starts somewhere around $180,000 for a household. But buckle up, because that number can shoot up faster than a Tesla on autopilot depending on where you live.
Location, Location, Location (Because We Can Apparently Afford It)
California's a big state, and the cost of living varies wildly. Here's a glimpse into what fancy looks like in different regions:
- Bay Area: If your idea of leisure is dodging venture capitalists on segways while justifying a $2 million bungalow, then welcome to the club!
- Los Angeles: Here, fancy means having a backyard that isn't a glorified fire escape and maybe, just maybe, owning a car that doesn't require a mechanic on speed dial.
- Orange County: Picture manicured lawns, kids with names like "Huntington" and "Slater," and a constant internal battle between wanting a pool and dreading the drought.
The Cali Upper Middle Class Starter Pack
Now that you've got the income and location figured out, it's time to accessorize your fancy life! Here are some essentials:
- The Tesla (or at least a Prius): Forget gas stations, it's all about that sweet, sweet electric current (and the smug satisfaction of knowing you're saving the planet, kind of).
- The Avocado Toast (But Make it Gourmet): This isn't just any smashed avocado, my friend. We're talking locally sourced, perfectly ripe goodness on artisanal bread (because basic bread is for the poors).
- The Weekend Hike (with Patagonia Gear, Obviously): Nature is calling, and you must answer, preferably in clothes that scream "I can afford both dirt and fashion."
- The Therapy Session (Because Keeping Up With the Joneses is Exhausting): Let's face it, all this keeping up with appearances can be stressful. A good therapist is a must-have accessory for the discerning upper middle class Californian.
Remember: Don't forget to laugh at yourself! Being upper middle class in California is a wild ride, and sometimes you gotta take a step back and realize how ridiculous the whole thing can be. Just embrace the avocado toast, the hikes, and the therapy sessions, and you'll be a Californian fancy person in no time.
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