You Done Goofed: A Hilarious Look at Blocking the Highway in Texas
Howdy, partners! Ever found yourself with a jalopy sputtering to a stop right in the middle of that there highway? Maybe you done got yourself stuck in a friendly-fire situation with a herd of armadillos? Well, if you're reading this, chances are you (or someone you know) might have committed a cardinal sin in the Lone Star State: obstruction of highway.
Hold on to your Stetsons, because we're about to unpack this little Texas two-step:
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What in tarnation is obstruction of highway, you ask? Imagine this: you're cruising down I-35, windows rolled down, ZZ Top blasting, when BAM! A rogue tumbleweed or a stray longhorn causes a pile-up that makes rush hour look like a Sunday drive. That, my friends, is obstruction. But it ain't just about epic mishaps. Parking your pickup sideways to hold a sale on slightly-used cowboy boots? Obstruction. Leaving your shopping cart abandoned in the middle lane after a rodeo-sized shopping spree at H-E-B? Believe it or not, also obstruction.
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Now, here's the kicker: Texas takes its highways mighty seriously. Obstruction is a Class B misdemeanor, which means you could be facing a fine of up to $2,000 and a night (or more!) in the slammer. Not exactly the kind of souvenir you want from your trip to the rodeo.
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Don't worry, there's a lighter side (maybe): If you accidentally block the highway and high-tail it out of there like a spooked jackrabbit, you might just get away with a stern talking-to from a Texas Ranger (who will likely have a much better story about the time they wrestled a gator). But if you get caught red-handed (or should we say, red-faced), you'll be singing a different tune.
Here's the golden rule, folks: If you can safely move your obstruction, doggone it, move it! And if you find yourself in a sticky situation (like, say, stuck in a ditch with a flat tire), pull over as far as you can and slap on those hazard lights. A little common sense goes a long way in Texas.
Remember: Texas highways are for gettin' from here to there, not for impromptu picnics or armadillo rodeos. So, drive safe, keep it movin', and don't block the dang highway!
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