So You Wanna Be Cali Upper-Middle Class? A Guide for the Aspiring Fancypants
Ah, California. Land of sunshine, surfboards, and...eye-watering housing costs. But fret not, dear reader, for nestled amongst the avocado toast enthusiasts and celebrity sightings, there exists a mythical creature: the upper-middle class Californian.
But what exactly does this elusive beast look like? How can you, too, achieve this level of Californium Zen? Fear not, for we shall delve into the fascinating world of upper-middle class California living, with tongue firmly planted in cheek.
Income: The Great Separator (Except for Tech Millionaires)
Let's talk turkey: money. In California, where a shoebox apartment can set you back a king's ransom, the definition of "upper-middle class" is a bit...flexible. Sure, some studies say it's around $153,000 for a household. But let's be honest, that depends entirely on where you live.
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Silicon Valley: In this land of tech titans and venture capitalists, upper-middle class starts at "can afford a Tesla Model S payment...and maybe a studio apartment."
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San Francisco: Here, even a houseboat might be considered a steal for the upper-middle class set.
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Los Angeles: Ah, L.A. Where your million-dollar mortgage gets you a pool (that you can't afford to heat) and a crippling fear of earthquakes. But hey, at least you'll be upper-middle class!
The Cali Upper-Middle Class Starter Pack:
- A Patagonia fleece: Preferably worn year-round, regardless of the actual temperature.
- A Tesla (or a very convincing electric car lease): Because saving the planet is trendy, and gas prices are outrageous.
- Subscription boxes for everything: From your dog's gourmet kibble to your beard oil collection, there's a subscription box for that (don't judge, we all have them).
- Weekend getaways to Napa or Palm Springs: Because who needs a vacation home when you can rent a fancy Airbnb for a long weekend and pretend it's yours?
- An undying love for brunch: Because mimosas and bottomless anything are practically a birthright in California.
**The Cali Upper-Middle Class Struggle is Real (But Kinda Luxurious) **
Being upper-middle class in California isn't all sunshine and roses. Sure, you might have a fancy car and eat avocado toast every day, but you'll also be complaining about:
- The high cost of living: Because even with a good income, paying rent/mortgage in California feels like constantly feeding a bottomless money pit.
- Traffic: Ah, the soul-crushing gridlock. It's practically a rite of passage for any Californian.
- Finding decent childcare: Because apparently, good babysitters cost more than your car payment.
But hey, at least you'll be complaining about these things with a glass of expensive wine in hand, right?
So, there you have it, folks. A tongue-in-cheek look at the upper-middle class California lifestyle. Remember, it's all about perspective. Here's to hoping you can find your own California dream, even if it comes with a hefty price tag and a side of existential dread about rent.
