The Mysterious Demise of Barbara Reed: A Hilarious Investigation (Because Seriously, What Was That?)
Ah, Barbara Reed. The queen of real estate, the bane of artists, and the woman who left us all scratching our heads after her, ahem, spirited shower exit in American Horror Story: NYC. While the season threw some curveballs at us faster than a disco ball at Studio 54, Barbara's death was a doozy. So, buckle up, grab your metaphorical magnifying glass (bedazzled, of course), and let's delve into the murky waters of what exactly sent our favorite ruthless realtor packing.
Theory #1: Big Daddy Did It (Because Drama, Darling!)
The show certainly painted a dramatic picture. Big Daddy, that brooding figure lurking in the shadows, seemed the prime suspect. We saw him menacingly approaching Barbara in the shower, all steam and shadows. Did he strangle her with his perfectly manicured claws? Did he unleash some horrifying showerhead monster? The possibilities were endless (and frankly, a little ridiculous).
But wait! Turns out, Big Daddy might have been more metaphorical grim reaper than literal murderer. The lack of forced entry and the whole "choking in the shower" thing point to a different culprit...
Theory #2: The Real Killer? You Guessed It, HIV/AIDS
This one's a bit less flashy than a shadowy stalker, but it holds more weight. Remember Patrick, Barbara's, shall we say, enthusiastic pool buddy? Yeah, turns out he wasn't just sharing pool toys. HIV/AIDS was rampant in the early 80s, and Barbara, bless her oblivious heart, likely contracted it from him. Pneumonia, a common complication of AIDS, could explain the whole "choking in the shower" business.
So, Big Daddy was just a figment of Barbara's fear (or maybe a fabulous manifestation of the disease)? Mind. Blown.
Theory #3: Maybe it Was Just Bad Hairspray (Because, Honestly, Anything is Possible)
Okay, this one's a joke. But hey, with all the twists and turns in AHS, you never know! Maybe Barbara's hairspray fumes reached critical mass and, well, let's just say it wasn't pretty. Who needs a serial killer when you have a can of Aqua Net?
The Verdict: Still Out, But Here's My Bet
While the show leaves things a little ambiguous, I'm leaning towards HIV/AIDS being the true culprit. It fits the historical context and the lack of physical evidence. Plus, it adds a layer of tragedy to Barbara's story.
In Conclusion: RIP Barbara, You Fabulous (and Slightly Oblivious) Real Estate Agent
Barbara may be gone, but her legacy of questionable fashion choices and ruthless business tactics lives on. Her death, while confusing, serves as a reminder of the realities of the AIDS crisis and the importance of safe sex (and maybe using a less-lethal hairspray). So raise a glass (of something stronger than disco punch, this calls for it) to Barbara Reed, the woman who went out with a bang (or maybe a wheeze?).
