The Big Apple Goes Dim: A Totally Not-Serious Guide to the (Non-Existent) NYC Solar Eclipse
Hold onto your fedoras, folks, because rumor has it the Big Apple is about to take a bite out of the Big Guy in the sky! That's right, the internet is abuzz with talk of a solar eclipse happening in New York City. But fear not, eclipse enthusiasts (or should we say, eclipse enthusiasts who are easily confused by the internet), because we're here to clear things up with a healthy dose of humor.
Did Someone Say Solar Eclipse?
Let's get this straight right off the bat: as of today, April 24, 2024, there is no solar eclipse happening in New York City. Nada. Zilch. You can ditch the weird, welding helmet-looking eclipse glasses (although those might come in handy the next time you're brazing some copper pipes).
Now, if you're the kind of person who gets FOMO (fear of missing out) over a celestial event that isn't even happening, don't worry, we've got you covered. Here's a handy guide to what you can do instead:
- Channel your inner Isaac Newton with a DIY eclipse. Grab a colander, some cheese (because let's face it, everything is gouda with cheese!), and hold it up between you and the sun. Instant (sort of) eclipse!
- Starstruck? Name a moth after your favorite celebrity! We hear Brad Pitt-Moth is a real looker (get it? Brad Pitt? Moth? ... Never mind).
- Dance like nobody's watching (because they probably aren't since there's no eclipse). Dig out that old disco ball and pretend it's a mini sun. Now boogie!
The Moral of the Story?
Don't believe everything you read on the internet, especially when it comes to astronomical phenomena in the middle of a bustling metropolis. But hey, if this whole eclipse fiasco gave you a good chuckle, then that's something to eclipse over, right? wink wink
