Sharing Your Space (and Not Your Shotgun) With a Felon in New York: A Guide to Keeping Your Pew Pew and Avoiding the Po Po
Living with a roommate can be a mixed bag. They might leave dirty dishes in the sink, blast questionable music at 3 AM, or even (gasp) steal your last slice of pizza. But hey, at least they're not a convicted felon... right? Well, hold on to your cowboy hats, because things get a little more complicated in the Big Apple when your roomie has a past that involves, well, less savory activities.
The Straight Dope: Felons and Firearms in New York
Here's the unfortunate truth: felons and firearms in New York are about as compatible as peanut butter and chocolate... except way less delicious. Federal and state laws make it a big no-no for someone with a felony on their record to own a gun. Breaking this law is a serious offense, so don't even think about trying to sneak a bazooka into your tiny Brooklyn apartment (unless it's for strictly decorative purposes, and even then, we can't recommend it).
So, Can You Live With Captain Crook and Still Clutch Your Gat?
Now, this gets a little tricky. Technically, you can still own a gun if you live with a felon. But there's a big ol' asterisk the size of Texas attached. You absolutely, positively need to make sure they can't get their hands on your firearm. This means:
- Fort Knox-ify your gun storage: We're talking a gun safe bolted to the floor, with a combination lock more complex than the plot of Inception.
- Trigger-happy with trigger locks? Great idea! Add another layer of security with a trigger lock whenever your six-shooter isn't safely locked away.
- Communication is key: Have a frank conversation with your roommate about the importance of them staying far, far away from your firearms.
Remember: Even if you take all the precautions in the world, there's a chance you could be charged with "constructive possession" if your roommate gets a hold of your gun. Basically, the law doesn't like the idea of firearms and felons being under the same roof, even if it's not exactly Bonnie and Clyde over here.
Keeping the Peace (and Avoiding Handcuffs)
Here's the bottom line: owning a gun while living with a felon in New York is a tightrope walk. It can be done, but it requires vigilance, clear communication, and a whole lot of secure storage solutions.
If this all sounds like too much hassle, there's always the option to politely (or not-so-politely) suggest your roommate finds a new digs.
Safety first, folks!
Felony FAQs: You Asked, We (Kinda) Answered
How to know for sure if my roommate's felony disqualifies them from gun ownership?
This is a job for a professional. Consult a lawyer to get the most accurate information on your roommate's specific situation.
How to build a bomb shelter/panic room/fortress of solitude to keep my guns away from my roommate?
While we can't provide architectural advice, we recommend heavy-duty locks and a healthy dose of paranoia.
How to convince my roommate that borrowing my assault rifle for "target practice" is a terrible idea?
"Uh, no thanks" followed by a swift change of subject should do the trick.
How to find a new roommate who doesn't have a criminal record?
There are background check services available for potential roommates. Just remember, being a neat freak isn't a disqualifier (unlike, you know, felonies).
How to channel my inner James Bond and take down bad guys with my bare hands?
Not recommended. Leave the butt-kicking to the professionals (or at least invest in some serious self-defense classes).
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