The Big Apple and the Big Bang: A New Yorker's Guide to Guns (and Avoiding Accidental Gangster Poses)
Living in the concrete jungle, you might be wondering if you can wrestle a sidearm away from a rogue bodega cat and become the next Clint Eastwood. Well, hold your horses, pilgrim, because New York and guns have a bit of a complicated relationship.
| Can People In New York Have Guns | 
Upstate vs. Downstate: A Tale of Two Glocks (Probably not)
Up in the wild (well, wilder) reaches of New York State, things are a tad looser. If you're 18 or over and pass a background check, you can snag yourself a rifle or shotgun without a permit. Think weekends spent hunting wabbits and feeling like a pioneer (without the dysentery, hopefully).
But down in the city that never sleeps (because everyone's too busy hustling to afford rent), things get a bit more strict. For handguns, you'll need a license from the NYPD, and let me tell you, getting that's about as easy as finding a decent slice after 2 am.
QuickTip: Look for contrasts — they reveal insights.
Forget the Six-Shooter, Get a Six-Pack (of Craft Beer)
Look, New York City isn't exactly Dodge City. There's more chance of encountering a rogue bagel than a bank robber. Unless you're planning on fending off a flock of particularly aggressive pigeons (and let's be honest, those things are terrifying), you probably don't need a firearm.
Besides, wouldn't you rather be mastering the perfect pastrami on rye technique or arguing about the best pizza place with your neighbors? Those are the real New York survival skills.
Tip: Focus on one point at a time.
FAQ: New York and Guns - The Not-So-Fancy Edition
How to get a gun license in New York City? Buckle up, buttercup. It's a long and bureaucratic process.
How to avoid needing a gun in New York City? Be aware of your surroundings, don't flash your valuables, and maybe take a self-defense class (learning roundhouse kicks is way cooler than packing heat).
QuickTip: Scan for summary-style sentences.
How to deal with a rogue bodega cat? Honestly, bribery with fancy tuna is probably your best bet.
How to channel your inner Clint Eastwood? Invest in a killer poncho and practice squinting dramatically in the mirror.
Tip: Read carefully — skimming skips meaning.
How to find the best pizza in New York City? This, my friend, is a lifelong quest. There is no single answer, and the debate will rage on forever.