So You Wanna Wrestle a Prehistoric Pool Noodle in Florida, Huh? A Guide to Catching Iguanas
Florida: land of sunshine, beaches, retirees living their best life, and... iguanas. Lots and lots of iguanas. These green giants are everywhere, sunbathing on pool decks, causing traffic jams by napping in the middle of the road, and leaving their, ahem, souvenirs all over your perfectly manicured lawn.
Now, the sight of a six-foot-long lizard lounging on your lounge chair might make you yearn to capture this Jurassic castoff. But before you channel your inner Steve Irwin, there are a few things you need to know.
Catching Iguanas: Friend or Foe?
First things first, are iguanas even considered "catchable" in Florida? Absolutely! These invasive reptiles are not protected and can be removed from private property with the landowner's permission. In fact, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) actively encourages iguana relocation (though we'll get to why that's a bad idea in a minute).
However, there's a big difference between "can you" and "should you." These prehistoric pool noodles have a surprising amount of fight in them. Their claws can be like tiny daggers, and their whip-like tails can leave you with a stinging welt. Not to mention, they're surprisingly strong swimmers, so chasing them into a pool is more likely to end with a soaked you than a captured iguana.
###Important Disclaimer: Iguana wrangling is not for the faint of heart (or those who value nice clothes).
Choosing Your Weapon (Wisely)
So, you've decided to take on the iguana challenge. Here's your arsenal:
- The Grab: This is the DIY approach, best attempted by the fearless or the foolish. Approach with caution (iguanas have excellent eyesight) and aim for a firm grip behind the head. Expect some thrashing and hissing – this is not a cuddle session with a kitten.
- The Trap: A more humane option. There are various iguana traps available, often baited with fruit. Just be sure to check it regularly – a trapped iguana is a stressed iguana, and nobody wants that.
- The Professional: Let's face it, sometimes the best weapon is someone else entirely. Wildlife removal experts have the experience and equipment to handle these Jurassic escapees safely and efficiently.
Word to the Wise: Don't even think about using a lasso, tranquilizer darts, or your hedge trimmers. Trust us, it'll end badly.
The Great Escape (What NOT to Do)
Here's the thing about catching iguanas: catching them is the easy part. Releasing them somewhere else in Florida is illegal, and frankly, irresponsible. These invasive lizards wreak havoc on the ecosystem, so releasing one is like giving a free all-you-can-eat buffet to native plants.
The Do's and Don'ts of Relocation:
- Don't: Release the iguana into another part of Florida. It's bad for the environment, and it's illegal.
- Do: Depending on your local laws, you may be able to surrender the iguana to a wildlife removal service or a licensed exotic animal facility.
FAQ: You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers (Quick)
How to Catch an Iguana? Approach with caution, use a trap, or call a professional.
How to Release an Iguana? Don't! Releasing them is illegal and bad for the environment.
How to Avoid Iguanas in Your Yard? Keep your yard clean, trim bushes, and remove anything they might climb on (like your pool deck).
How to Tell if an Iguana is Dangerous? While they can scratch and bite, they're not inherently dangerous. Just be respectful of their personal space.
How to Enjoy Florida Without Getting Tangled Up With an Iguana? Relax by the pool, enjoy a cocktail, and leave the iguana wrangling to the professionals (or the very brave).
