Chicago River Fish: Friend or Foe? A Highly Scientific Investigation (with Tongue Firmly in Cheek)
Ah, the Chicago River. Emerald artery of the city, architectural wonderland by day, shimmering neon dreamscape by night...and a potential source for your next fish fry? Hold on to your fishing poles, folks, because this is where things get interesting.
A River Runs Through It...But Should You Run a Plate Through It?
The Chicago River boasts a colorful history, shall we say. Once upon a time, it wasn't exactly known for its sparkling clarity. Think more "industrial runoff soup" than "crystal-clear catch." Thankfully, those days are (mostly) behind us. The river's undergone a serious makeover, and these days, you might even spot the occasional otter frolicking in its (relatively) cleaner waters.
But does that mean it's a fisherman's paradise? Not quite. While the river's come a long way, baby, there's still a bit of a "don't-eat-the-fish" vibe happening.
The Skinny on Fish Consumption: Spoiler Alert, It's Not a Buffet
The Illinois Department of Public Health has issued some, shall we say, enthusiastically-worded advisories on Chicago River fish consumption. While you won't spontaneously combust after a nibble, they recommend limiting yourself to a mere six carp meals a year. Six! That's not exactly enough to feed a crowd, and let's be honest, carp aren't exactly known for their gourmet appeal.
Now, for the truly adventurous epicurean (or perhaps the incredibly broke), there are advisories for other species too. But be warned, these involve terms like "restricted consumption" and "methylmercury." Let's just say, a trip to the local fish market might be a safer bet for your next dinner party.
So, Can You Eat the Fish? The Verdict is In (and It Rhymes with "Maybe")
Technically, yes, you could eat some Chicago River fish, with a few caveats the size of Moby Dick. But is it advisable? Not exactly. Think of it as a culinary dare, a gastronomic game of chance best left to the truly intrepid.
For the rest of us, the Chicago River is best enjoyed visually, from the comfort of a riverwalk stroll or a kayak tour. Leave the fishing to the professionals (and maybe those otters) and stick to safer aquatic sources for your next seafood craving.
