The Not-So-Decease of the Great One: How George Washington Kicked the Bucket (But Not Like a Donkey)
George Washington, the man, the myth, the legend... and also, eventually, the deceased. But how did this Founding Father shuffle off this mortal coil, leaving behind a nation and a whole lot of bad teeth portraits? Buckle up, history buffs (and those who just like a good story), because we're about to dissect the death of a national treasure.
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| How And When Did George Washington Die |
The Great Sneeze Heard 'Round the Colonies (Probably Not)
It all went down in December of 1799. Washington, retired at his Mount Vernon digs, wasn't exactly facing down the British anymore. This time, his enemy was a much smaller, sneakier foe: a common cold. Now, you might think a man who dodged musket balls could handle a sniffle. But this cold turned south faster than a runaway horse-drawn carriage.
From sniffles to Snoozeville: A Medical Mishap (of Epic Proportions)
Washington's doctors, bless their powdered-wigged hearts, did what doctors did back then: threw everything they had at the illness. We're talking bloodletting (yikes!), blistering treatments (ouch!), and a truly horrifying-sounding concoction of molasses, vinegar, and butter for a gargle (double yikes!). Unfortunately, these treatments were about as effective as a chocolate teapot against a throat infection.
Tip: Avoid distractions — stay in the post.
Side note: While the exact cause of death is debated (maybe epiglottitis, maybe strep throat, maybe a time-traveling zombie virus?), the official story is that Washington succumbed to a severe throat infection known as quinsy.
The Farewell Address...Forever
Sadly, on December 14th, 1799, the good ol' General said his final goodbyes. Surrounded by loved ones (and probably a lingering cough), Washington shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 67. The nation mourned, and rightfully so. The man who helped birth a nation was gone, leaving behind a legacy that, well, let's just say it wasn't bad for a guy with wooden teeth.
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
So You Want to Know More About Washington's Farewell Address (to Mortality)?
How to: Mourn like an 18th-century American: Weep openly, wear black armbands for a year, and write sad sonnets about lost leaders.
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How to: Avoid dying from the common cold (George Washington Edition): Don't let doctors near you with leeches, and definitely avoid gargling with molasses. Modern medicine is a beautiful thing.
QuickTip: Pause when something feels important.
How to: Learn more about quinsy (but maybe not right before bed): It's a nasty throat infection that can be serious. If you have a sore throat that won't quit, see a doctor (one who doesn't use leeches, preferably).
How to: Throw a Founding Father-themed funeral: Think powdered wigs, tricorn hats, and enough eulogies to make your head spin.
QuickTip: Note key words you want to remember.
How to: Live as long as George Washington (but hopefully with better medical care): Enjoy a life of horseback riding, farming, and avoiding molasses gargles.
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