Houston: Hold on to Your Hats (Because You Won't Need Them Anyway)
Ah, Houston. The land of scorching summers, fiercely independent spirits, and a thermostat that permanently reads "set it and forget it" (on high, obviously). But with summer just around the corner, you might be wondering, "Hey, when does Houston give us a break with the heat? Does it ever get even remotely chilly?"
Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to embark on a hilarious journey into the not-so-frigid world of Houston winters (or lack thereof).
The Great Houston Freeze: A Historical Fiction
Breaking News: Houston experiencing coldest temperatures ever recorded! Birds are wearing tiny parkas! J.R. Ewing spotted shivering in a turtleneck! (Okay, maybe that last one is a stretch...)
In all seriousness, folks, let's be honest. Houston's idea of "cold" is what most places would consider a crisp autumn afternoon. We're talking about temperatures that might make you zip up your hoodie for a hot minute before breaking out the tank top again.
But hey, here's the good news: you can pretty much ditch the winter wardrobe (unless you're into the whole stylish scarf thing).
So, What Does "Cold" Look Like in Houston?
Here's a handy guide to translate Houston's version of chilly into normal people speak:
- Low 20s°C (around 70°F): This is practically a winter wonderland for Houston. People huddle around fireplaces (okay, maybe air conditioners set to "heat"). Breaking out the blankets! is a common phrase.
- High Teens°C (around 60°F): Brace yourselves! This is some next-level cold. You might actually see Houstonians wearing jeans (gasp!). Warning: Increased sightings of goosebumps.
- Below 10°C (around 50°F): This is practically unheard of. News reports will likely declare a state of emergency. Mandatory hot cocoa consumption is in effect.
The Final Verdict: Houston and "Cold" Don't Mix
Look, let's face it. Houston and cold weather are about as likely to become BFFs as humidity and a good hair day. But hey, that just means you can spend more time on the things that truly matter: perfecting your barbecue skills, cheering on your favorite sports team (win or lose, the AC will be blasting anyway), and mastering the art of the pool float.
So ditch the worries about bundling up, and embrace the glorious sunshine (and slightly-less-glorious heat) that Houston has to offer. After all, what's a little sweat when you can live in a city with endless summer, right?
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