The Great Ape Escape: How They (Probably) Crammed King Kong onto a Boat (and Didn't Wake Him Up)
Ah, King Kong. The misunderstood giant ape with a penchant for blondes and a serious dislike of airplanes. But how, exactly, did that oversized primate end up scaling the Empire State Building in the first place? Did they build a giant banana-shaped barge? Strap him to a fleet of tugboats? The truth, like Kong himself, is probably a little messy.
Theory #1: The Cargo Shuffle
Imagine this: our intrepid explorers, led by the ever-so-slightly-unscrupulous Carl Denham, manage to knock Kong out (probably with enough tranquilizers to floor a herd of elephants). Then comes the fun part: shoving a giant ape onto a regular-sized ship. Here's where things get fuzzy. Did they clear out the entire hold, sending coconuts and rum flying into the ocean? Maybe they built a special "Kong-sized" hammock deck (supervised by a very nervous crew). One thing's for sure, those first-class cabins suddenly became very economy-sized.
Theory #2: The Sleepy Slumber Party
QuickTip: Highlight useful points as you read.
This theory involves a whole lot of hope and a sprinkle of insanity. The idea? Keep Kong asleep for the entire journey. Now, tranquilizers are great and all, but keeping a giant ape sedated across the entire ocean seems like a recipe for disaster (and a very grumpy primate upon arrival). Maybe they rigged up a giant sprinkler system filled with a tropical cocktail guaranteed to induce drowsiness (patent pending, Carl Denham). Who knows, maybe Kong just found the whole ocean voyage incredibly boring.
The Truth is Out There (Probably Not)
The movies, bless their giant ape-loving hearts, never quite explain the logistics of Kong's transatlantic adventure. Did they build a giant cage? Did they convince a pod of whales to tow him? The possibilities are endless (and, frankly, a little hilarious).
Reminder: Short breaks can improve focus.
Important Side Note: We can all but guarantee that occupancy regulations were not exactly followed on that particular voyage.
| How Did They Get King Kong To New York |
King Kong FAQs: You Asked, We (Kind Of) Answered
How to Befriend a Giant Ape (Not Recommended)
This one's a tricky one. Offering giant bananas and avoiding loud noises might be a start, but we wouldn't recommend it.
Tip: Pause whenever something stands out.
How to Build a Giant Ape-Sized Hammock (Purely Hypothetical)
Step 1: Acquire a metric ton of extremely strong rope. Step 2: Don't. Seriously, don't.
How to Throw a Really Big Ship Party (for a Sleepy Guest)
Tip: A slow, careful read can save re-reading later.
Loud music is probably a bad idea. Maybe try some calming ocean sounds and a never-ending supply of bananas (just in case).
How to Avoid Seasickness on a Boat Full of a Sleeping Giant Ape (We're Seriously Out of Our Depth Here)
Dramamine? Good luck.
How to Explain a Giant Ape-Sized Hole in the Side of Your Ship (Let's Not Go There)
We suggest a very well-rehearsed story about a rogue wave.