So You Want to Be a Certified Chicagoan: Your Guide to State ID Glory (and Avoiding the DMV Line)
Ah, Chicago. City of wind, deep dish pizza, and... the dreaded quest for a state ID. Fear not, fellow adventurer, for this trusty guide will be your Excalibur in the bureaucratic jungle. We'll slay the confusion, dodge the hangry crowds, and emerge victorious, official plastic badge in hand.
Round One: GATHERING YOUR WIZARDRY SUPPLIES (aka Documents)
First things first, you'll need some magic items to prove you're a real live human worthy of an ID. Don't worry, it's not a dragon's tooth or a vial of mermaid tears (although those might be cool conversation starters at the DMV). Here's your shopping list:
- The Birth Certificate of Truth: This document, hopefully not forged in the fires of Mount Doom, needs to show your arrival on planet Earth.
- The Social Security Card of Mystery: This little number, with more digits than a phone book, is like your financial fingerprint. Fun fact: You don't need to bring the actual card, a copy will do!
- Proof You Live in This Magical Land (aka Proof of Residency): A bank statement, lease agreement, or utility bill with your name and Chicago address will do the trick. Think of it as a map to your secret lair... er, humble abode.
Bonus points for dramatic flair: a trusty knight (friend/family member) to hold your place in line while you, the brave hero, tackles the paperwork.
Round Two: The Quest for the Secretary of State (and Avoiding the DMV)**
Hold on to your hats, because things are about to get location-specific. Chicagoans, rejoice! The quest doesn't involve battling a DMV dragon (although the lines might make you feel like one). Instead, you seek the benevolent offices of the Secretary of State.
Pro Tip: Not all Secretary of State facilities offer ID services. Do a little online recon [Illinois Secretary of State facility finder] to find the one closest to you and make sure they're slinging those sweet, sweet ID cards.
Round Three: The Paperwork Poconos (and Taking Names)**
Alright, you've arrived at the Secretary of State's office. Here's where the real adventure begins:
- Fill out the forms: These documents may not be enchanted scrolls, but they hold the power to grant you ID-dom. Channel your inner calligraphy master and write legibly.
- Pay the Fee: A small price for officialdom, consider it a toll on the road to state-sanctioned identification.
- Take your Photo: Smile (or don't, we won't judge)! This photo will be your public face for the next few years, so make it memorable (unless "memorable" means "slightly terrifying DMV picture").
Be warned: There may be a line. Be prepared to wait, to people-watch, or to break out your phone and conquer Candy Crush.
The Final Victory Lap (and Owning That ID)
After this bureaucratic gauntlet, you've emerged victorious! Your state ID will arrive in the mail, a glorious badge of honor signifying your Chicagoan citizenship.
Now you can:
- Board airplanes (without extensive questioning)
- Cash checks (like a real grown-up)
- Prove you're old enough to buy that lottery ticket (because hey, maybe today's your lucky day)
Congratulations, adventurer! You've conquered the quest for a state ID. Now go forth and use your newfound official status for good (or at least to score discounts at museums).
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