Conquering Chicago's Toll Booth Beasts: A Hitchhiker's Guide to Paying Up
So, you're cruising into the windy city, windows down, hair blowing in the breeze (or that AC blasting ‘cause let's be real, Chicago summers are brutal). You're ready to explore the bean, indulge in some deep dish, and maybe even perfect your gangster walk (think Blues Brothers, not Al Capone). But then you see it: a looming tollbooth, its metal jaws seemingly ready to swallow your vacation budget whole. Don't fret, fellow traveler, for this guide will equip you with the knowledge to navigate Chicago's toll situation like a seasoned pro (or at least someone who doesn't get yelled at by a tollbooth worker).
Cash vs. Class: Choosing Your Tollbooth Weapon
First things first, you need a battle plan. Here's the lowdown on your toll-paying arsenal:
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Cash: The classic, the OG, the "oh-no-I-have-to-dig-through-my-console-for-quarters" method. Pros: It works everywhere (almost). Cons: Fumbling for change while holding up a line of impatient Chicago drivers is a surefire way to make enemies faster than you can say "deep dish."
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Credit/Debit Card: The modern knight's steed. Pros: Speedy and convenient (unless your card gets declined, which would be a whole other adventure). Cons: Not all tollbooths accept plastic, so be prepared with a backup plan.
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E-ZPass/I-PASS: The tollbooth VIP pass. Pros: Breeze through toll lanes like a boss. You might even get a discount on tolls (because apparently, being organized is rewarded in this world). Cons: Requires getting a transponder beforehand, which might not be ideal for a quick trip.
Choosing the Right Weapon:
- If you're a frequent flyer: Get an E-ZPass/I-PASS. It'll save you time and money in the long run.
- If you're a cash-only kind of person: Make sure you have plenty of small bills on hand.
- If you're a credit card warrior: Just know that not all lanes accept plastic, so be ready to switch lanes if needed (just avoid rush hour, trust me).
Beyond the Booth: Your Post-Tollbooth Survival Guide
Congratulations, you've conquered the tollbooth! But wait, there's more! Here are some additional tips to ensure your Chicago adventure goes smoothly:
- Double-check your route: Some sneaky roads have surprise tolls, so plan ahead using a GPS or map app.
- Keep your eye on the signs: They'll tell you which lanes accept what payment method. Don't be "that guy" who holds up the line because they missed the giant flashing sign.
- Have a tollbooth story ready: Chicagoans love a good tale. Regale them with your near-miss with a rogue penny or your heroic last-minute lane change to avoid a cash-only lane. A little humor goes a long way (unless you accidentally offend a die-hard Cubs fan, that is).
By following these battle-tested tips, you'll be a tollbooth-paying pro in no time. Now get out there and explore Chicago! Just remember, the real toll you might pay is the emotional toll of admitting you kinda like deep dish (it's okay, we won't judge).
