Howdy Partner, You Want Your Longhorns in the Big Dance? A Guide to the College Football Playoff, Texas Edition
Yeehaw! College football season might be a ways off, but here in Texas, we like to dream big and plan ahead, especially when it comes to our beloved Longhorns clawing their way to the College Football Playoff (CFP). Let's face it, folks, getting to the CFP ain't exactly a cakewalk (though a pecan pie victory tour would be mighty sweet). So, buckle up and grab your ten-gallon hat, because we're about to unpack the how-to on getting those burnt orange jerseys into the national spotlight.
Step 1: Be a Dominatin' Longhorn (and by Dominatin', We Mean Win Stuff)
This one's a no-brainer, partner. Winning the Big 12 Championship is practically a requirement. You gotta show everyone you're the top dog in the conference, the king of the corral! No stumbles, no fumbles, just pure domination. Remember that defense that makes quarterbacks cry and an offense that runs faster than a jackrabbit on hot coals? Unleash it all! Let's make those other teams look like they're lost on the way to a rodeo clown convention.
Step 2: Channel Your Inner Gamblin' Man (But Maybe Not With Actual Gamblin')
Now, here's where things get a little spicy. Even a Big 12 Championship win might not be enough. Sometimes, you gotta rely on a little divine intervention (or some well-timed upsets, whichever you prefer). We need those other conferences to play their cards right. Maybe a one-loss Alabama gets bounced early, or a surprise team shakes things up. Hey, a little chaos can be a good thing, right?
Step 3: Become America's Sweetheart (Except Maybe in Oklahoma)
The CFP committee isn't just swayed by win-loss records, folks. You gotta have a certain je ne sais quoi, a little somethin' somethin' that makes them say, "Now that's a team we want in the playoffs!" So, Texas, it's time to turn on the charm offensive. Win over the national media with those dazzling plays and heart-stopping victories. Maybe even throw in a heartwarming story about a walk-on player who overcame adversity (just don't cry on camera, that might mess up your mascara).
Bonus Tip: Don't Be That Annoying Fan Everyone Hates
We all know that one team's fans who take things a little too far. You know, the ones who wear ten hats and yell so loud they scare the birds out of the trees. Let's show some good sportsmanship, win or lose. Because at the end of the day, there's nothing worse than being that team everyone secretly hopes gets knocked out early.
So there you have it, folks! A roadmap to CFP glory, Texas style. Remember, it ain't always easy, but with a little determination, some strategic upset wins, and maybe a sprinkle of charm, those Longhorns could be movin' on up to the big dance. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go dust off my cowboy boots and start practicing my victory two-step. Hook 'em Horns!
