You and Russia: Closer Than You Think (Unless You're in LA)
Ever looked at a globe and thought, "Man, Russia seems really far away"? Well, you'd be right, comrade... mostly. But for those Angelenos out there constantly battling bad traffic, a trip to Russia might seem like a walk in the park (Siberian park, that is). Buckle up, because we're about to embark on a journey through miles, medals, and maybe even a mischievous Muppet or two.
The Short Answer (Spoiler Alert: It's Far)
Just how far is LA from Russia? Let's cut to the chase: a whopping 6,070 miles (or 9,769 kilometers) separates the City of Angels from the heart of Mother Russia. That's farther than a Hollywood producer can throw a bad script (and trust me, those things get launched).
So, You're Saying I Can't Rollerblade There?
Hold your horses (or huskies, if you're feeling particularly Russian). While rollerblading across the Bering Strait might be an impressive feat of athleticism (and questionable decision-making), it's not exactly recommended. Think of it this way: even a flight from LA to Moscow takes about 12 hours. That's a long time to be stuck in those in-flight headphones, even if they do pipe in the dulcet tones of Tchaikovsky the whole way.
But Wait, There's More! (Because There Always Is)
Just because a straight shot is out of the question doesn't mean you can't get your Russia fix. Here are some alternative travel options, all guaranteed to be slightly less tiring than rollerblading the Arctic:
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Channel your inner Cold War spy: Become a master of disguise and snag a ticket on a redeye to, well, anywhere but Russia. With enough cunning and a carefully forged passport, you might just be sipping borscht in Red Square before you know it. Although, we wouldn't recommend it. International espionage is a tricky business, and the last thing you want is to end up starring in a reality show called "Siberian Solo."
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Befriend a particularly large bird: Okay, this one's a bit of a long shot, but hey, stranger things have happened (like that time Nicolas Cage bought a dinosaur skull). Maybe you can convince a particularly large crane to migrate a little further south this year. Just be sure to pack plenty of peanuts (and maybe a translator in case your new feathered friend prefers sunflower seeds).
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Use the power of imagination: Close your eyes, picture yourself strolling through the Kremlin, and... voila! You're in Russia (sort of). This method is free, requires no packing, and comes with the added bonus of allowing you to customize your Russian adventure. Want to ride a bear through a field of sunflowers? Go for it! Just remember, imagination can't quite cool you down in the Siberian winter.
So there you have it, folks! How far is LA from Russia? Far enough to make you appreciate good California sunshine. But hey, with a little creativity (and maybe a plane ticket), the world (or at least Russia) is your oyster (or, perhaps more appropriately, caviar).
