The Great Chicago Bishop Census: A Not-So-Scientific Investigation
Ah, Chicago. City of wind, deep dish pizza, and... bishops? You might be wondering, just how many bishops are there roaming the streets of the Windy City, dispensing holy pronouncements and wrangling choirs of angels (or maybe just overseeing church bake sales)? Well, buckle up, my friends, because we're about to embark on a hilarious (mostly) quest for the truth.
First Stop: Bishop Bonanza in the Catholic Church
Chicago's a big city, and unsurprisingly, it's got a big Catholic presence. Here's where things get a tad Byzantine (no offense to the Byzantine Rite Catholics out there). There's the Archbishop of Chicago (that's the big cheese), currently Blase Joseph Cupich, a man who no doubt has a busy schedule keeping tabs on all things Catholic in the city.
But wait, there's more! Archbishop Cupich isn't flying solo. He's got a whole team of auxiliary bishops, like trusty sidekicks who help him with the day-to-day bishop business. There seem to be quite a few of these auxiliary bishops zipping around Chicago – some sources say five, others whisper of a mysterious brotherhood even larger.
Hold Your Horses, There's More to the Story!
Now, Chicago's a melting pot of faiths, and Catholicism ain't the only game in town. We've got bishops of all denominations! There's the Bishop of the St. Thomas Syro-Malabar Catholic Diocese (intriguing, right?), and the Bishop of the Ukrainian Catholic Eparchy of Saint Nicholas.
By now, you might be getting a headache from all this bishop talk. Here's the truth: pinning down an exact number is about as easy as wrangling pigeons in Millennium Park. It depends on which denomination you're counting, and frankly, some days it might feel like there's a bishop on every corner.
So, How Many Bishops Are There Really?
Here's the answer that will satisfy everyone (or maybe no one): There are enough bishops in Chicago to keep the holy hustle going, but not so many that they're tripping over each other on the Magnificent Mile.
Maybe one day an enterprising soul will conduct a grand bishop census, but for now, let's just appreciate the rich tapestry of faith in this vibrant city. After all, a little mystery never hurt anyone (except maybe those poor pigeons).
