Don't Worry, Folks, It's Not As Fishy As You Think: A Look at Chicago River...Remains?
Let's face it, Chicago: we've all seen those dramatic news reports. Body pulled from the river!** Dun dun DUNNNN!** Suddenly, your casual stroll along the Riverwalk feels less like a scenic escape and more like a scene from a mob movie. But before you start picturing yourself as the next Vito Corleone taking a swim with the fishes, let's dive into the not-so-murky depths of these headlines.
How many bodies are we talking about, here?
Alright, alright, enough with the suspense. In 2023, there were nine reported drownings in the Chicago area, with some mysteries lingering around three of those cases. Nine whole deaths is definitely a somber statistic, but here's the not-so-sensational truth: that number falls in line with previous years. Apparently, the Chicago River, for all its industrial charm, isn't suddenly a death magnet.
So, what's with all the "serial killer" whispers?
Ah yes, the whispers. The rumour mill went into overdrive when a former FBI agent decided our fair city was the playground of a water-loving Jack the Ripper. Look, speculation is fun and all, but the Medical Examiner's office, the folks who would definitely know about a potential body bonanza, have assured everyone there's no evidence to support this.
Here's the takeaway:
The Chicago River is no stranger to misfortune, but the numbers aren't out of the ordinary. So next time you see a headline about a body being found, take a deep breath, resist the urge to tweet a conspiracy theory, and maybe just...enjoy that world-famous Chicago deep dish pizza instead. After all, a little comfort food never hurt anyone (well, except maybe your arteries).
