Don't Worry, Folks, Chicago's Not Actually a Feeding Ground for Aquatic Gremlins (But Seriously, How Many Bodies Are We Talking About?)
Let's face it, Chicago has a certain... je ne sais quoi. Deep dish pizzas that could feed a small army, winds that'll steal your hat (and maybe a brain cell or two), and of course, the mesmerizing Chicago River, dyed a festive green every St. Patrick's Day. But beneath this veneer of tourist delight, there lurks a murky mystery that's got folks whispering more than just "lucky charms."
The Big Splash: How Many Bodies Are We Talking About?
Now, before you start picturing Chicago as some aquatic version of the Bermuda Triangle, hold on to your swimfins. There haven't exactly been bodies popping up like popcorn kernels. However, there have been some unfortunate incidents that have led the authorities to perform a few too many "fishing expeditions" from the Chicago River and its watery neighbor, Lake Michigan.
News reports from 2022 suggest the number to be around 16, while some more recent articles bump it up to a spooky 18. What's even spookier? A good chunk of these cases remain undetermined, leaving room for speculation wilder than a Chicago deep-dish crust.
The Plot Thickens: Is There a Serial Swimmer on the Loose?
This is where things get interesting (or unsettling, depending on your preference for a good night's sleep). The undetermined causes of death, coupled with the fact that many of the victims were young men, has fueled rumors of a serial killer lurking in the shadows, ready to give unsuspecting folks the ultimate push into the drink. Cue the dramatic music! Even former FBI agents are weighing in, saying there might be "too many coincidences" to ignore.
But hold your horses, Nancy Drew. The Chicago PD is playing it cool, denying any serial killer connection.
So, what's the real story? The truth, as always, is probably a bit less CSI and a bit more...well, Chicago. Maybe a few too many folks underestimating the power of that wind after a night out, or some accidents that took a tragic turn.
Here's the Bottom Line
Look, the Chicago River isn't exactly a health spa. But it's probably not out to get you either. Just be careful, use your best judgment, and maybe avoid swimming alone at night (especially if you've been enjoying a few too many Chicago classics... deep dish and all). And hey, if you do happen to see something suspicious, don't be a hero - call the real heroes, the Chicago PD.
Unless, of course, you are a hero. In which case, go get 'em, tiger! Just maybe bring a buddy and a flashlight.
