The Chicago River: More than Just a Pretty (and Green) Dye Job
Chicago's got a lot going for it: deep-dish pizza that could feed a small army, windy weather that'll knock the hat right off your head (and maybe a few brain cells too), and of course, the Chicago River, dyed a stunning emerald green every St. Patrick's Day. But beneath that festive facade lies a bit of a mystery, one that's got folks whispering about more than just lucky charms.
The Big Splash: How Many Bodies Are We Talking About?
Now, before you start picturing Chicago as some aquatic version of the Bermuda Triangle, let's clear the murky waters a bit. There haven't exactly been bodies floating down the river on an hourly basis. However, there have been some unfortunate incidents that have led to authorities fishing out a certain number of souls from the Chicago River and its watery neighbor, Lake Michigan.
The numbers game: News reports from 2022 mentioned around 16 bodies being pulled from the waterways, while a more recent article bumps that number up to 18. What's spookier is that a good chunk of these cases remain undetermined, leaving room for speculation that's wilder than a Chicago deep-dish crust.
The Plot Thickens: Is There a Serial Swimmer on the Loose?
This is where things get interesting (or unsettling, depending on your preference). The undetermined causes of death, coupled with the fact that many of the victims were young men, has fueled rumors of a serial killer lurking in the shadows, ready to push unsuspecting folks into the drink. Cue the dramatic music!
Former FBI agents are weighing in, saying there might be "too many coincidences" to ignore. Dun dun DUNNNNNN! But hold on to your swimsuits, folks, because the Chicago PD is playing it cool, denying any serial killer connection.
So, What's the Real Story?
The truth, as always, is probably a bit less sensational. Chicago does have its fair share of accidents, suicides, and folks who maybe underestimated the power of that deep-dish coma (food coma can be serious, people!). The river itself can be dangerous, with strong currents and unexpected depths.
The bottom line: While the number of bodies recovered is certainly noteworthy, it's important to rely on facts, not fear.
Final Thoughts: Stay Safe and Maybe Take a Swimming Lesson
Look, there's no denying the Chicago River has a bit of a mystique. But hey, that's part of what makes this city so darn interesting, right? Just remember, if you're planning on taking a dip in the emerald green wonder, maybe brush up on your doggy paddle first. And who knows, you might even snag yourself a starring role in the next round of "Chicago River Mysteries." Just kidding... mostly.
