The Great Bovine Body Count of 1890: Chicago's Meaty Mystery
Ah, Chicago in 1890. A time of gangsters (in pinstripes, not zoot suits), roaring crowds at baseball games (though they probably yelled a lot less "Chicago!" back then), and, of course, mountains of moo-vellous meat. You see, by this point, Chicago had established itself as the undisputed Beef Baron of the Nation, thanks to the bustling Union Stock Yards. But just how much bovine blood was spilled in the name of that juicy steak on your great-great-great-grandpa's plate? That, my friends, is the mystery we're here to unravel.
Herding the Data: Where Do We Look?
Now, you might think this is a simple question. "Just look up some old reports," you say. Sure, if you fancy wading through dusty archives and deciphering 19th-century handwriting that looks like a cow trampled over a calligraphy lesson. No, my friends, we need a more, shall we say, intriguing approach.
The Sausage Factory of Statistics: A Pinch of Logic, a Dash of Daring
Here's what we know: Chicago's Union Stock Yards were boomin' in 1890. We also know, thanks to the ever-reliable Wikipedia (which, let's be honest, is basically the internet's attic with all the best historical tidbits), that by that year, they were processing a cool nine million animals annually.
Now, were all these creatures cattle? Probably not. Back then, folks weren't exactly picky eaters. Pigs, sheep, maybe even the occasional rogue emu (hey, it's a crazy world) likely found themselves part of the statistic. But surely, cattle were a major chunk of the, ahem, meat of the matter.
The Moo-ment of Truth: A Calculated Guesstimate
So, how many cows met their culinary demise in the Windy City that year? Here's where the daring bit comes in. We'll estimate. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that cattle made up a good 60% of the stockyard's business in 1890. (This number is purely hypothetical, but hey, isn't that half the fun of historical whodunnits?)
Take that 60% of the total nine million processed animals, and you get a staggering... 5,400,000 bovine burgers. Five point four million! That's enough steaks to feed the entire Roman Empire for a year, folks.
The Epilogue: A Toast to Chicago's Cattle Kings (and Queens)
Now, this is just an estimate, mind you. But it paints a vivid picture of Chicago's meatpacking prowess in 1890. So next time you tuck into a juicy steak, take a moment to remember the Windy City, the millions who mooed their last there, and the ingenuity that turned a cow into a culinary cornerstone. Just maybe, raise a metaphorical glass (or a real one filled with a Chicago-style deep dish, because why not?) to the cattle kings (and queens) of 1890.
