Houston Heat: Hold My Lone Star Beer (Because Apparently Water Isn't Enough)
Ah, Houston. The city that practically invented humidity and whose summer motto could be "Suns Out, Buns Out (Cause We're Sweating Them Off Anyway)." But hey, at least we have all the delicious things to sweat out with, like crawfish boils and rodeo funnel cakes, right?
Speaking of sweating, let's get down to the real nitty-gritty: those scorching, sun-baked days that make even fire ants cry for mercy. You know, the ones where you open your front door and a wall of hot air smacks you in the face like an overenthusiastic hug from your grandma after too many margaritas. I'm talking about the 100-degree days, baby.
So, how many of these fiery infernos have we Houstonians braved this year? Buckle up, buttercup, because the answer might surprise you (or maybe not, because Houston).
The Great Houston Sauna of 2023: By the Numbers
Brace yourselves, because we weren't that far off from shattering all-time records. In 2023, Houston sizzled its way through a whopping 45 days where the temperature hit 100 degrees or higher. That's right, folks, 45 days of feeling like we were living on Mercury's slightly less-stylish cousin.
We came this close (cue dramatic music) to tying the all-time record of 46 days set back in the balmy summer of 2011. But hey, at least we're not last, right? nervous laughter
Houston Heat Wave Hall of Shame (Because Someone Has to Keep Track)
Now, if you're one of those folks who thrives in this kind of weather (we see you lizards!), then more power to you. But for the rest of us mere mortals, here's a little heat wave history to ponder:
- The All-Time Scorcher: That would be 2011, folks. The year Houston collectively decided to become a giant human rotisserie chicken.
- The Almost-Champion: 2023. We were close, people, CLOSE.
- The Not-So-Bad Years (But Still Pretty Hot): There have been plenty of other years that have brought the heat, with several summers boasting over 30 days of 100-degree temperatures.
So, What Does This Mean for the Future of Houston Heat?
Well, that's a question even the weatherman can't answer definitively. But one thing's for sure: Houston summers are known for being hot and humid. Climate change isn't exactly helping matters either, so we can probably expect to see more scorching days in the future.
The good news? We're a resourceful bunch. We've got our trusty air conditioners, our epic pool parties, and enough ingenuity to turn a sweaty situation into a good time (or at least a semi-tolerable one).
Here's to surviving another Houston summer, folks! May our margaritas be plentiful, our sunglasses stylish, and our sense of humor never-ending.
