Houston: Parched and Parched-ier - The Neverending Dry Spell of 2024
How's it going, Houston? You know, besides the fact we're living in what feels like a never-ending episode of Survivor: Sunburn Edition? Yep, that's right, we're officially on day [insert number of days Houston has gone without rain], and the rain gauge is gathering more dust than a tumbleweed convention.
The Great Houston Drought of 2024: Is This Our New Reality?
The whispers are getting louder: is this the new normal? Are we destined to roam the dusty wasteland that was once Houston, forever searching for a mirage that will never quench our thirst? Don't get us wrong, we're tough here in Houston. We're Houston Strong, after all! But even the strongest spirit can get a little weary staring at the same cloudless sky for weeks on end.
Signs You Might Be Living in Houston's Drought of 2024:
- Your pool has evaporated faster than your hopes for a rainy weekend.
- You hear tumbleweeds echo through the canyons of skyscrapers downtown.
- You start offering your neighbors a sip of your sweet tea in exchange for a single, measly ice cube.
- The wildlife is getting desperate. That squirrel eyeing you from across the street? He's probably just looking to borrow a cup of water... and maybe your moisturizer.
But Wait, There's More! (Because Misery Loves Company)
Here's a little something to lighten the mood (or maybe darken it, depending on how you look at it). According to reliable sources (read: internet message boards), here's what's happening in Houston thanks to this drought:
- NASA is considering Houston for their next Mars training program. Seems they already have the whole desolate landscape thing down pat.
- The Houston Astros are thinking about changing their name to the "Houston Hot Tamales" because apparently that's the only thing surviving this heat.
- Local conspiracy theorists are convinced this is all a government plot to make us all buy stock in Dasani.
Stay Strong, Houston!
We know things are tough, but we Houstonian's are a resilient bunch. We've been through hurricanes, floods, and even that time Beyoncé didn't play the rodeo. So crank up the AC, fire up the grill (if you can find any shade to stand under), and hold on to your hats. Surely... maybe... possibly... a sprinkle of rain must be on the horizon, right? Right...?
