Chicago and the Scorchometer: How Many Days Will We Sweat Like Sun-Baked Glazed Ham?
Ah, Chicago. City of wind, deep dish, and...surprisingly brutal summers? That's right, folks, nestled between the cozy winters and the "shoulder seasons" that feel like a confused washing machine setting, lies a period where the city transforms into a giant steamer basket. But just how giant? How many days are we talking about strategically placing bowls of ice water in front of the ceiling fan?
The Great Sweatening: Days of Fury (or at Least 90 Degrees)
According to the National Weather Service (those lovely folks who ensure we aren't caught off guard by a rogue blizzard in July), Chicago averages a cool (ha!) 14 days where the mercury rockets past the 90-degree mark. But that's just an average, folks. Some summers play it chill, offering a mere 10 days of sweat-drenched misery, while others decide to channel their inner Arizona and unleash a scorching 18-day inferno.
Fun Fact!: Chicago's Most Temperamental Thermostat
Did you know that Chicago holds the record for the earliest and latest 90-degree day in recorded history? We're talking about a city that can't decide if it wants to be a sunbaked beach bum or a bundled-up penguin. In 1930, Old Man Winter got a serious case of amnesia and let the temperature hit 90 degrees in April. Conversely, in 1963, summer decided to take a long vacation, with the first 90-degree day gracing us with its presence in early October.
So, How Sweaty Will This Summer Be?
Unfortunately, my friend, I can't peer into the meteorological crystal ball. But! Here's the good news: While Mother Nature may be fickle, the National Weather Service can provide seasonal forecasts. Keep an eye out for those updates, and you can be prepared to either bust out the swimsuit or stock up on cozy socks (because, let's be honest, Chicago weather can be a rollercoaster).
In the meantime, here are some survival tips for those inevitable 90-degree days:
- Hydration is your BFF. Carry a water bottle everywhere, and pretend it's your precious treasure.
- Air conditioning is a gift from the gods. Embrace it. Nest in its cool embrace.
- Sunscreen is not optional. Unless you want to resemble a poorly cooked lobster.
- Ice cream consumption is highly encouraged. It's practically research at this point.
Stay cool, Chicago! And remember, even the hottest days eventually fade away, leaving behind crisp autumn leaves and pumpkin spice lattes. But hey, at least we can all bond over the shared experience of surviving another Chicago summer.