So, You Heard There's a Body Count in the Chicago River? Let's Dive In (Metaphorically, Not Literally)
Ah, the Chicago River. Home to architectural wonders, touristy boat tours, and...supposedly, a hidden graveyard for the dearly departed? Fear not, fellow explorers, because we're about to wade through the murky waters of truth (or lack thereof) regarding this aquatic rumor.
Don't Believe Everything You Read (Especially Clickbait Headlines)
The internet can be a scary place, especially when it comes to statistics about bodies of water and, well, bodies. Headlines love to scream about a "Chicago River Body Bonanza!" or "Is There a Serial Killer Lurking in the Loop?" But hold on to your swimsuits, folks. There's a good chance the numbers are a bit...inflated.
Yes, there have been unfortunate drownings and some recovered bodies in the river. Chicago is a big city, and waterways can be dangerous, especially with strong currents and (let's be honest) our unpredictable weather.
The Big Mystery: Drowning, Accidents, or Something More Sinister?
Here's where things get interesting. Some folks (and a chatty ex-FBI agent) have pointed out a higher-than-usual number of bodies being pulled from the river recently. Intriguing? Absolutely. Does it automatically mean there's a Jason Voorhees wannabe living under the bridges? Probably not.
Many of these cases are still under investigation, and some are sadly undetermined. But authorities are quick to assure us it's not all foul play. Suicides, accidental drownings, and even the occasional "whoops, I fell in" situation are all possibilities.
So, How Many Bodies Are We Talking About Exactly?
Here's the tricky part. There's no official, public database specifically tracking the number of bodies recovered from the Chicago River. News reports mention numbers ranging from 12 to 18 in the past year or so. Still not exactly a picnic by the riverbank, but it's important to remember these are spread out over a large area and a significant amount of time.
The Final Verdict: Should You Cancel Your Kayak Tour?
Absolutely not! The Chicago River is a beautiful and vibrant part of the city. Just be sure to follow safety precautions, like wearing a life jacket and maybe avoiding any late-night skinny dipping adventures (looking at you, bachelor party crews).
As for the body count rumors? Stay informed, but don't let them turn you into a landlocked lubber. The Chicago River has more to offer than spooky urban legends. After all, there's deep-dish pizza calling your name, and that's a much tastier mystery to explore.
