Weekend in Windy City: Weather or Not There Were More Bullets Than Hot Dogs?
Ah, Chicago. City of broad shoulders, deep dish delights, and...well, a weekend nightlife that sometimes resembles a particularly enthusiastic game of paintball. So, the question on everyone's mind (besides, "Deep dish or New York style?") is: how many folks got sprinkled with lead confetti over the past couple of days?
Fear not, intrepid internet adventurer! While I can't give you an exact body count like some kind of morbid party planner, here's what we do know:
- News reports are saying it was a lively one: We're hearing numbers like 10 people joining the celestial choir and at least 36 folks getting ventilated (not in the air conditioning sense). Yikes!
- Here's the thing, these numbers might be, well, a tad shy: Look, investigations take time, and sometimes folks with gunshot wounds take a little detour to the morgue instead of the emergency room. So, the final tally might be a bit higher, like that time you thought you only ate two slices of pizza...then discovered an empty box.
But wait, there's more!
- Don't let the headlines hold you back: Chicago's a big city, and most of these altercations were squabbles amongst folks who already knew each other on a very personal level (like "borrowing your spleen without asking" personal). The city isn't exactly a warzone, so unless you're planning on joining a gang or using your forehead for target practice, you're probably good.
- Focus on the good stuff: Chicago has an amazing food scene (deep dish, people!), world-class museums, and enough improv comedy to keep you laughing ‘til your sides hurt (which, depending on the weekend, might be a good thing).
The bottom line
Look, there's no denying Chicago has a bit of a weekend warrior problem. But hey, at least they're consistent, right? So next time you're in the Windy City, just pack your sense of adventure, some extra napkins (for the deep dish, obviously), and maybe a kevlar vest...just in case.
