The Great Chicago Gang Census: Counting Crews Without Getting Crossed Out
Ah, Chicago. City of wind, deep dish pizza, and...well, a whole lotta gangs. But just how many gangs are we talking about here? Counting these crews is trickier than wrangling a greased pig at a county fair.
So, How Many Gangs Are There, Really?
The Chicago PD, those brave souls facing down daily doses of deep dish and danger, estimate there are over 90 active gangs. That's a lot of turf wars and questionable fashion choices. But wait, there's more! These gangs are like amoebas, constantly splitting and reforming. Then there are the "sets," which are basically mini-gangs claiming a specific turf. The fuzz (that's police officer lingo, folks) have counted over 747 of these sets. Trying to pin down an exact number is like trying to herd cats while juggling flaming bowling pins.
# Alternative Facts: The Gangland Guesstimate
Now, some reports say the number is even higher, pushing towards 150,000 gang-affiliated residents. That's enough people to staff a particularly lit kickball league, gang wars or not. Imagine the team names: The Sidewalk Crackers vs. The Wrigleyville Wallopers.
Why is Counting Gangs Such a Crapshoot?
Here's the thing: gangs are fluid. They evolve faster than your grandma mastering TikTok. One minute they're beefing with the next block over, the next they're sharing a deep dish and strategizing a joint venture in the lucrative market of, well, probably not deep dish.
Plus, who exactly counts as "gang-affiliated?" Is it the dude with a bandana who occasionally tags a building, or the guy who runs the whole operation from a basement, complete with a laminated gang hierarchy chart and a motivational poster of Al Capone (probably)?
So, What's the Takeaway?
While we may never have an exact number of gangs in Chicago, one thing's for sure: there are a bunch. Enough to make a sociologist weep with joy and a tourist slightly nervous. But hey, that's just part of the Windy City's charm, right? Just remember, if you're ever visiting, maybe stick to the tourist traps and the deep dish. Leave the gang-counting to the professionals (and maybe invest in a good pair of running shoes, just in case).
