The Great Houston In-N-Out Caper: Where Burgers Are Like Unicorns (But Tastier)
Ah, Houston. The Bayou City. Home to rodeos, refineries, and a never-ending fascination with all things fried. But there's one burning question that plagues the hearts (and stomachs) of Houstonian burger enthusiasts: Where's the beef? More specifically, where's the In-N-Out?
The In-N-Out Enigma: A Tale of Four and Soon-to-Be-Five Shy Burgers
Unlike Whataburger, which practically grows on Houston street corners, In-N-Out has been playing a game of hard-to-get for years. Currently, the Houston area boasts a measly four In-N-Outs, all clinging to the outskirts like freshmen at a high school dance, hoping not to get noticed. That's right, folks, for a city with a sprawl the size of Texas itself, four animal-style-less In-N-Outs is all we get. Is this some kind of cosmic joke? A test of our fast-food fortitude?
A Light at the End of the Tunnel (Maybe): The Impending Invasion (of Deliciousness)
Fear not, burger pilgrims! There's a glimmer of hope on the horizon. News outlets have been buzzing about the arrival of two new In-N-Outs in the Houston area. Hallelujah! The rumors suggest these burger bastions will open by the end of 2023, but hey, we all know how construction timelines go in Houston (cough, cough, I-610, cough).
Why the Hold Up, In-N-Out? Spill the Beans (or the Animal Style Sauce)
Theories abound for In-N-Out's reluctance to fully embrace Houston. Perhaps it's a land dispute fueled by Whataburger patriotism. Maybe they're worried their fresh-never-frozen ways won't survive the Houston heat. Or, plot twist, In-N-Out is actually a sophisticated marketing machine, creating a sense of scarcity to drive up demand (it's working, guys).
The Bottom Bun: A Message of Hope (and Hunger)
Here's the truth, Houston: We deserve In-N-Outs. We deserve juicy burgers, crispy fries, and those addictive shakes. So, to In-N-Out, we say this: Bring on the animal fries, the double-doubles, and the never-ending lines. Houston is ready for its close-up, and by close-up, we mean a face full of deliciousness.
In the meantime, we'll be here, patiently waiting, holding onto the hope that someday soon, In-N-Outs will be as ubiquitous in Houston as potholes (sorry, Department of Public Works, that one wasn't a joke).
