Chicago River: Hotbed of Mystery or Just a River with Bad Luck?
The Chicago River: a ribbon of urban water that snakes its way through the Windy City. Famous for its dyed green extravaganza every St. Patrick's Day, it also seems to be attracting an unusual amount of...attention. Attention of the not-so-desirable kind, that is.
So, How Many Dudes Are We Talking About?
Here's the deal. Since around 2022, there have been reports of a spooky number of bodies – we're talking 18 – fished out of the Chicago River and its neighbor, Lake Michigan. Twelve of those unfortunate souls were men, which has of course set the rumor mill churnin' faster than a deep-dish pizza on a conveyor belt.
Drowning? Serial Killer? Maybe Just Chicago Nightlife?
Now, before you imagine Chicago as some kind of aquatic Bermuda Triangle, let's pump the brakes a sec. The authorities aren't exactly rolling out the red carpet for these "fishing expeditions." Thankfully, it's not a daily occurrence. However, what makes it eerie is that a good chunk of these cases – especially the men – are shrouded in mystery. We're talking undetermined causes of death, people last seen leaving bars...it's enough to make you think twice about that extra round of Malort.
But wait! Hold onto your swimfins, conspiracy theorists. The good folks at the Chicago PD say there's no evidence of a Jason Voorhees-style maniac lurking in the river. Phew! That's a relief, because frankly, nobody needs a killer clown haunting the Navy Pier, too.
So, What's the Real Story?
The truth is, it's probably a combination of factors. Chicago has a vibrant nightlife scene, and sometimes, things don't end happily after last call. The river itself can be dangerous, with strong currents and unexpected drop-offs. Add to that some good old-fashioned bad luck, and you've got a recipe for some unfortunate incidents.
Here's the takeaway: Enjoy the beauty of the Chicago River, but maybe avoid a late-night skinny dip, especially after a few too many Windy City Bulls. And hey, if you see something suspicious, report it. Nobody wants a Chicago River mystery on their hands, especially not with tourist season coming up.
