The Great Chicago Caper: Estimating Omni-Man's Body Count (Spoiler Alert: It's a Lot)
Ah, Omni-Man. The daddy issues poster boy. The guy who turned "take out the trash" into a whole new meaning. But amongst the punches, the flying body parts, and Mark's existential dread, one question burns bright: just how many Chicagoans got caught in the crossfire?
The Not-So-Scientific Method
Now, we're not exactly CSI: Omni-Man here. We don't have a magic death ray counter. But fear not, intrepid internet sleuths! We've got the next best thing: wild speculation and a dash of dark humor.
Exhibit A: The Car Crush Cascade
Remember that glorious scene where Omni-Man yeeted Mark through a skyscraper? That wasn't just property damage, folks. That was a vehicular massacre. We're talking hundreds of cars turned into instant sardine cans. Now, some overachievers might argue folks could have escaped. But at the speed Mark was traveling? Let's just say reflexes weren't on the menu.
Early Estimates: Not Looking Good for Rush Hour
So, with an average of 1.5 people per car (cue the soccer moms with carpools), and a conservative estimate of 100 squished vehicles, we're already at a body count of... 150. Not a bad start for a Tuesday afternoon.
But Wait, There's More!
Because friends, that's just the cars. We haven't even factored in the falling debris, the unfortunate souls who happened to be on the sidewalk (wrong place, wrong time!), and the general panic that erupted like a popcorn machine on steroids.
The Official (Totally Unofficial) Body Count:
Adding a generous helping of "collateral damage" and a sprinkle of "those poor folks on the cruise ship Omni-Man clocked," we're looking at a number that would make a serial killer blush. We're talking somewhere in the ballpark of... thousands.
Important Disclaimer: Don't Quote Us On This
Look, this is just a thought experiment, folks. The actual number is probably somewhere between "a lot" and "enough to make Superman seriously reconsider his whole "truth, justice, and the American way" thing."
The Takeaway: Don't Mess With Dad (Especially If He's From Another Planet)
So, the next time you're having a disagreement with your dear old dad, remember Omni-Man. Maybe a raised voice or a passive-aggressive Facebook post isn't so bad after all.
